


we fell in love in december.

by porcelainsimplicity (pyroallerdyce), pyroallerdyce



Series: we fell in love in... [2]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Come Eating, Come Shot, Come Swallowing, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Money, Novel, Panic Attacks, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Wordcount: 30.000-50.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2020-03-29 13:26:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/porcelainsimplicity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/pyroallerdyce
Summary: Smoking cigarettes on the roofYou look so pretty and I love this viewDon't bother looking downWe're not going that wayAt least I know I am here to stayor:  Two months have passed since fate, destiny, and all that bullshit brought Bobby back into John's life, and while John is very thankful for it in a number of ways, there are so many things that are keeping him from being happy.  Bobby's father is chief among them.  Yet the biggest problem of them all is that whenever Bobby tells John he loves him, John just can't believe it.  He wants to, he really does, but he just can't.  That has to get better someday, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so here we are with story number two. this will make absolutely no sense to you if you haven't read the first part of the we fell in love in... series, we fell in love in october. this is story number two of eleven, which I swear I'm writing whether anyone reads these or not. I sincerely hope that you all enjoy, and if you do, please leave me a comment or a kudos or a bookmark so that I don't think I'm writing into a void.

**December 1st**

John smiled as he opened up the door to his apartment, Bobby holding up a bottle of whiskey as he walked inside. “I brought drinks as requested.”

“Thank you because I'm pretty sure I can't even afford water at the moment,” John said as he closed the door.

Bobby looked at him as he shrugged off his coat. “Meaning?”

“Meaning trying to replace all of my stuff is more expensive than I thought, even shopping at secondhand shops,” John murmured as he took the coat and placed it over the back of the sofa.

“I could help with that,” Bobby said carefully, not wanting to set John off. “Get you some furniture that isn't secondhand, replace your leather jacket.”

“No,” John said strongly as he walked into the kitchen. “I am entirely capable of doing that myself. Just don't expect too fancy of a dinner tonight. I was limited in what ingredients I could get.”

Bobby followed John into the kitchen and was hit by the smell of food. “It smells delicious. And I could help with that too.”

John went to protest but Bobby just held up his hands. “I eat the food too, Johnny. Me paying for some or all of it isn't entirely unreasonable.”

John stared at him for a moment before turning to the stove, stirring the pot that was simmering. “I'll think about it.”

“That's all I can ask you to do,” Bobby said, smiling. “How was your appointment with Storm?”

“It went well. She thinks that I'm progressing in a positive manner. This new thing we are trying is helping.”

“And what is that?”

“We are starting small,” John said, concentrating on the pan in front of him. “So I'm trying to think that I'm good at my job. I'm able to work the register and I know the shorthand for the drinks. I can accomplish what is necessary in a short amount of time which makes me a useful asset in how the business is run. And because of all of that, I am worth something to Erik and Charles. Because I'm worth something to them, I'm also worth something to Raven and Jean because I am a reliable employee, and to Kitty, Alex, and Darwin because I am helpful in getting their jobs accomplished. So basically, I'm trying to believe that I have some worth and it's starting to work.”

Bobby broke out into a grin and walked up behind John, placing his hands on John's hips. “That's great, Johnny. Really, really great.”

John leaned back against Bobby as he checked the clock on the stove. “Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes.”

“Oooh, plenty of time for some kisses then,” Bobby murmured, smiling as John turned around. “I've missed you today.”

“You saw me this morning,” John pointed out.

“Yes, but that was this morning,” Bobby said, leaning in for a kiss. “That means hours have passed since I've seen you.”

John rolled his eyes as their lips met again, but he kissed Bobby eagerly. He might have been teasing Bobby, but he'd missed him too. “I love you,” he murmured as they broke apart.

Bobby grinned at him. “I love you too.”

John wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe it so much. But he just couldn't. Not yet.

“How was work?” John asked as he turned back to the stove. “Did the meeting go well?”

“My father has delegated another project to us,” Bobby sighed. “Thankfully, this one doesn't have such a tight timeline. I wouldn't be here if it did.”

“I hate it when he does this,” John muttered. “You get all stressed out and it's not fun to be around you.”

“I know, I know,” Bobby said. “But I can't do anything about it.”

“I know,” John sighed. “Can you get the drinks?”

“Of course.”

John glanced at the clock again before reaching for a spoon to check the pasta. “So your father was at the meeting?”

“Via video,” Bobby said as he opened cabinets, trying to find the glasses. “Not even live either. A pre-recorded message to ruin our entire operating schedule for the next month.”

“Month?”

“Month. This project is more massive than the last one. He's just given us a more reasonable amount of time to complete it. I've already got Rogue and Yuriko rearranging everyone's schedules for the next month, including canceling Doug's scheduled vacation. I told him I'd double his time off and pay for the vacation to make up for it. I'm doubling everyone's vacation days for this.”

“I hope you don't have to overwork anyone,” John said as he turned off the burner. “And I include you in that too. I don't want you overworking yourself either.”

“I will do whatever I have to do professionally to keep my father happy,” Bobby said seriously, pouring them each a drink. “But personally? That's another story.”

“Does that mean you're finally going to tell me what happened?”

“I don't know what that is supposed to mean.”

John just sighed as he strained the pasta. “Bobby, you went home to Boston for Thanksgiving and came back acting strange as fuck. And I know that you know that I've noticed, so don't try fucking telling me that you're not.”

Bobby took a deep breath and brought both glasses to the table, sitting down in the chair that had become his. “I don't have to answer that.”

“Then get the fuck out of my apartment until you feel like being honest with me.”

Bobby stayed silent until John was setting a plate in front of him. “My parents aren't happy with me because I am refusing to do something they want me to do.”

“And what is that?” John asked as he sat down.

Bobby was halfway through his plateful before he answered. “They want me to do an interview.”

“What is so wrong with that?” John asked after a moment. “You do interviews all the time.”

“About work,” Bobby said as he reached for his drink. “This one would be personal.”

“Ah,” John said. “They don't want you to talk about me.”

“No, they don't mind me mentioning that I've found my soulmate.”

“Then what is the problem?”

“They want me to say that my soulmark is blue,” Bobby said quietly, dropping his head down. “They want me to say you're nothing but my friend and that I'm still looking for the woman of my dreams.”

John dropped his fork down to his plate and reached for his drink, downing it before getting up and finding the bottle. “Fuck.”

“Pretty much,” Bobby said, sliding his glass over so John could refill it. “I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to hide you.”

“I know, baby. I know you're not,” John murmured, bringing his refilled glass to his lips as he sat down. “But you are worried about retaliation.”

“I'm convinced that this project is the beginning of the end. It's practically designed for us to fail and if we do, that's all on me.”

“Be honest with me,” John said seriously. “Should you be working right now?”

“I have Rogue, Yuriko, and half the office pretty much working through the night,” Bobby admitted. “I didn't want work to keep me away from you again.”

John just shook his head. “You're going back to work after dinner. No arguments allowed.”

“Are you sure? Because I can totally stay.”

“Bobby, I don't want you to overwork anyone, especially yourself, but if you should be working then you should be working. And you shouldn't be making everyone do all of whatever it is they're doing alone.”

“I just don't want you to be mad at me.”

“If I'm mad at anyone, it's your motherfucking father,” John muttered. “Asking you to hide away such an important piece of who you are. That's such fucking bullshit and my hatred of him continues to grow.”

“He's not that bad,” Bobby said meekly, and John just glared at him. “Okay, maybe he is but I really need to keep him as happy as I can until he dies.”

“Which will be decades from now, most likely. You cannot play these games with him for that long.”

“I know, I know,” Bobby said. “But I don't know what to do.”

“Well, I suggest you come up with something before he tries to find a way to force you out of the company and your inheritance,” John said, taking their empty plates and bringing them to the sink.

“Inheritance,” Bobby muttered. “My inheritance. It could be.”

“It could be what?”

“The family lawyer, the personal one, he never let anyone but my father read my grandfather's will once he died. He said there were secrets in there that only my father should know.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, given what I know about my grandfather's opinion of my father, I need to read that will. Or, well, have a lawyer read it.”

“I am seriously confused right now,” John said as he sat back down. “So I hope you are planning on explaining this.”

“My father was a huge disappointment to my grandfather and my grandfather told me once in private that he would put my father in his place in a way that my father would never see coming.”

“I'm still confused.”

“What if I don't have my inheritance?”

“What?”

“What if my grandfather didn't leave everything to my father but to me? His final act, finally putting my father in his place.”

John stared at him as what Bobby was saying hit him. “You think there's a chance that your grandfather bypassed your father and left everything to you. Bobby, that's madness.”

“Madness or not, I think it's at least worth spending the money on a legal battle to find out,” Bobby said, leaning back in his chair. “Because I can completely see my father doing whatever he could to make sure that Ronny and I don't know the truth.”

“Holy fuck, I hate your father,” John mumbled. “So what? You need a lawyer that isn't your family's?”

“Yes. And I know just the one too.”

“You do?”

“His name is Remy LeBeau. Lives in the same building I do. His firm also happens to be a big client of our courier services. He's new there, but I would rather have a fresh perspective than some old fashioned ideas. In fact, I need to get Rogue working on setting up an appointment right now.”

“Baby,” John said as Bobby reached for his phone. “It's getting close to nine. There's no way she can make the appointment right now. And I think you need to talk to Ronny before you do anything.”

Bobby sat there for a moment before nodding. “Ronny. Right. My father is probably stealing his inheritance away from him too.”

“I need you to calm down and have a rational conversation with your brother on whether this is actually possible and what do to if it is, okay?” John said seriously. “Because if you're wrong about this, then your father really is going to destroy you.”

Bobby took a couple of deep breaths. “Okay. You're right. This needs to be thought through.”

“Thank you for not just doing something stupid.” John reached out and pulled Bobby into a kiss. “Go back to work now. Call Ronny during the drive. Whatever you do, don't flip out at someone just because you're so wound up.”

Bobby chuckled. “I wouldn't do that.”

“Bobby, I've been around you when you are this wound up countless times before. It's exactly what you'd do.”

“Fine, fine,” Bobby said, standing up. “I'll make tonight up to you. I promise.”

“There's nothing to make up for. We've got the rest of our lives for nights like this.”

Bobby grinned at the thought. “Yeah, we do. Okay, I'm leaving now. I won't yell at anyone and I will have a rational conversation with my brother. Any other rules to follow?”

John smacked at his shoulder as they walked to the door. “Actually go home at some point in the next three days, please. And take the time to call me at night. I don't want to be harassing Rogue about how you are again.”

“Okay, I will, I promise,” Bobby said, putting his coat on and pulling John close to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” John murmured before Bobby kissed him. “Now go before I have the building's security remove you.”

Bobby laughed. “I'm going, I'm going.”

John watched Bobby leave the apartment before leaning back against the door and closing his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and remembered to do what Storm had told him to.

Bobby really loved him, and he really loved him because he thought John was worth that love. He was worth that love because he was worth something, even if he couldn't see it.

John opened his eyes again and took another couple of deep breaths, then pushed away from the door and headed towards the kitchen to do the dishes.

Bobby loved him.

If only he could really believe that.


	2. Chapter 2

**December 5th**

John looked up when the door to the coffee shop opened, silently cursing when Piotr walked in. They hadn't seen each other since Piotr had threatened him in October and judging by the look on his face, Piotr was there to threaten him again. Still, John plastered a smile across his face and greeted Piotr like he was any other customer. ”Welcome to Lehnsherr’s. What can I get started for you?”

Piotr gave the menu a cursory glance before turning his attention back to John. ”I will order after we speak privately.”

John was about to tell him that he couldn't do that because he was working, but Erik had walked out of the back without John realizing it and spoke first. “Go ahead and go out back, Johnny. I'll man the register for a while.”

John swallowed hard but nodded, and then he and Piotr were walking through the back and out into the alleyway. He turned to face him and saw a thunderous look on Piotr’s face, and he wondered what he could have possibly done. ”Hello, Piotr. It’s good to see you.”

”It is not good to see you,” Piotr said firmly. ”I told you that if you hurt him again I would kill you.”

John immediately became alarmed. ”What did I do? I had no intent to hurt him at all. Why hasn't he talked to me about this?”

”He has been acting very strangely for the last couple of weeks and the only other time I've seen him like this was when you left. So I am here to tell you that you fix this or I really am going to dismember you,” Piotr said sternly. ”I am not losing my best friend because you did something stupid.”

”Yes, he has been acting strangely since Thanksgiving,” John said, relief flowing through him at the thought that he’d not hurt Bobby. ”And I know why that is. But it has nothing to do with me hurting him.”

”Then what is it about?”

”I’m not sure Bobby wants everyone to know that,” John said carefully, not wanting to anger Piotr more. ”If he wants everyone to know then he will tell them.”

”Fine.” Piotr shook his head. ”But I am so serious about this that I cannot even begin to describe it. If this has anything to do with you, I will come to kill you right here in front of everyone, and I will gladly spend the rest of my life in prison knowing that you can't hurt him anymore.”

John swallowed hard. “Message received.”

“Good,” Piotr said, turning towards the building. “Now come make me some coffee.”

John followed him inside and got what he wanted out of him, telling Kitty to make Piotr a snowboarder before punching the order into the register and accepting money for it from him. He handed over the change and then the drink, plastering a smile onto his face. “Thank you for visiting Lehnsherr's. We hope you enjoy that coffee and have a great day.”

Piotr glared at him for a moment. “I meant what I said.”

“I know you did.”

“Don't give me a reason to act on it,” Piotr confirmed before leaving the store.

John slumped down against the counter and ran his hands over his face. “Fuck.”

“Johnny?” 

John looked over to see Kitty peering at him with concern. “What?”

“You look atrocious.”

John took a deep breath. “Well, if someone had just threatened to dismember you, I'd think that you'd look atrocious too.”

Kitty's eyes widened. “What?”

“I am pretty sure that they are empty threats. I can't actually imagine Piotr following through with them. Bobby would stop it from going that far, I think.”

“I cannot believe that Piotr would threaten you like that,” Kitty exclaimed. “He's always so nice when he comes in.”

“When he comes in?”

“Yeah, he comes in a lot,” Kitty said, leaning up against the counter. “Tries something new every time, always gets a pastry or sandwich. He's becoming one of our regulars.”

“Why have I not witnessed this?” John wondered. “And he probably only comes in to see if I'm here so he can threaten me.”

“You haven't been working on those days,” Kitty said, shaking her head. “And stop being so pessimistic. Things with Bobby are going fine whether Piotr's threatening you or not.”

“I know they're fine.”

“No, you're questioning things again. I can tell.”

John rolled his eyes. “Questioning things is my specialty and you know that.”

“This is different,” Kitty pointed out. “This is the rest of your life. I thought I told you that you two need to have a relationship again.”

“We're trying to but his father is ruining everything at the moment.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he's given Bobby's team yet another fucking project. This is bigger than the last one, and Bobby told me that it's designed for him to fail. He's already working around the clock after initially lying to me about how much work this was going to take, and I'm probably not going to see him until Christmas, no matter how much he says we're spending the weekend together.”

“I'm sure that he's going to do everything he can to make sure that happens,” Kitty said seriously. “But you still need to stop questioning things.”

“And what do you suggest that I do then?”

“I suggest that you start believing that Bobby really does love you,” Kitty said, smiling. “That will solve so many issues. And I know you're capable of doing that.”

John groaned. “I'm trying.”

“Try harder.”

“I don't think it's possible to try any harder without my brain exploding,” John said firmly. “Between Storm, Jubes, and you, I feel like I'm being told what I should be thinking and feeling instead of actually thinking and feeling it.”

“Oh, Johnny, that is not what we're doing. We're trying to encourage you in your journey,” Kitty said softly. “I'm not trying to tell you how to think or feel. If you can't believe him yet then you can't believe him yet. But you'll get there. I know it.”

“And what if I don't?” John murmured. “What if this is as good as it gets?”

“Then this is as good as it gets and Bobby will be perfectly happy with that.”

John rolled his eyes. “Don't bullshit me, Kitty.”

“I'm not! Bobby and I have talked about it.”

“He might have said that but there is no way he meant it. If we were doing things his way, my life would look a lot different.”

“How so?”

“Well, I'd be locked up tight in a penthouse in Manhattan, for one thing.”

Kitty sighed in exasperation. “You need to stop with that right now. He wants to help make your life better, not imprison you.”

“We will agree to disagree about that then.”

“I think you underestimate how much you being attacked affected him,” Kitty said. “He thought he was going to lose you.”

John just shook his head. “At no point was I near death.”

“Oh, for fuck's sake, Johnny.”

“What?” John asked. “That's the truth.”

“Alright, then let's do a little exercise. If the tables had been turned and Bobby had been the one who was attacked, same exact scenario, would you have felt like you were going to lose him?”

John nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Then why do you refuse to believe that he felt that way about you?” Kitty asked.

John went to protest, sucking in a breath when Kitty glared at him and he realized that his protestations were going to fall on deaf ears. “I get what you're saying. I do. But believing that means believing that he loves me, and I just can't do that. I might not ever be able to do that. I know I'll lose him over that. I know it and yet I cannot do anything about it. At least not at the moment.”

“You're not going to lose him.”

“I should though,” John murmured. “I know I wouldn't stay if the situation was reversed, soulmate or not.”

“And that doesn't make you realize how much he cares about you? The fact that even if things never get better he's still going to stay?”

“No.”

“And why is that?”

“Because he's not going to stay.”

Kitty reached out and smacked John hard on the shoulder. “You are not allowed to think like that. Am I clear?”

“You are not my therapist,” John pointed out. “I don't have to listen to that.”

“Well, you can bet that Storm is going to hear about it then,” Kitty said, smacking him again. “Honestly, some days it's like you don't want to get better.”

“I want to get better more than anything,” John said firmly. “I just don't see how it is possible and I'm a defeatist by nature. I always think the worst.”

“You're like that because of your father, not because of any sort of intrinsic nature,” Kitty sighed. “Can I get you to at least admit that Bobby cares about you? That he feels something towards you?”

“Look, I am well aware of the fact that he feels something for me. I have no idea why, but he does. Do I think it is love like everyone says it is? I want it to be. I really, really want it to be. But I cannot let myself think that. It's going to crush me enough when he leaves without adding that into it.”

“Oh, Johnny,” Kitty breathed out. “I just want you to realize that you're wrong. He's not going anywhere.”

“Kitty's right,” came a voice from behind them and they turned to see Rogue standing there. “And he'd be awfully upset to know that you don't trust him to stay.”

“Hi Rogue,” Kitty said. “Usual?”

“Yes,” Rogue said. “And I want one of those cordon bleu sandwiches too.”

“I'll go put your order in and then come make your drink,” Kitty said, walking into the back before John could say anything.

“It's not that I don't trust him to stay,” John said when Rogue glared at him. “It's that I don't understand why he would. I'm not worth everything he is going to have to go through to get to this happy ending he thinks we can have.”

“And you don't think you can have that happy endin'? Because I think Jubes and I will kill you if you two fuck this up again.”

“I want it,” John said honestly. “I want to be happy and he's the only one who has ever made me that way. But I just can't see it.”

“Well, all I can tell you is that you're gonna get it. I don't care if Jubes and I have to tie you two to the bed to work things out. You're fuckin' workin' things out.”

“I've already been threatened enough today, thank you very much,” John mumbled, making Rogue sigh.

“Piotr? Again?”

“Yep. Apparently, he's going to dismember me and will gladly spend the rest of his life in prison knowing that I can't hurt Bobby again.”

Rogue just shook her head. “Piotr, honestly. I'll have Bobby talk to him.”

“That's not necessary.”

“It's unbelievably necessary,” Rogue said seriously. “You're never gonna get anywhere when you're terrified of what he'll do to you should somethin' not go to plan. You and Bobby are allowed to have arguments, for fuck's sake. I didn't know Bobby had told him about that.”

“I'd almost guarantee he hasn't,” John said. “So you heard about it though.”

“Why do ya think that I'm here? I was supposed to be goin' home for a quick shower. Don't worry. Bobby will thank me for this.”

“Rogue.”

“I'm serious, darlin'. What time do you get off tonight?”

“Eight.”

“Then go straight to the penthouse. I'll make sure that Bobby and dinner are waitin'.”

“I don't know if that's a good idea.”

“He's not mad, Johnny,” Rogue said softly. “He actually agrees with everythin' you said, but he has to keep his father happy.”

“I hate his father,” John muttered.

“So do we all, Johnny,” Rogue said, smiling at him. “Come on. I'll make it so that it's just the two of you all weekend. I'll confiscate Bobby's phone if that's what it takes.”

John went to speak but a small laugh escaped him instead. “He might actually really appreciate that.”

“I know, darlin'. So, penthouse tonight?”

Kitty came out of the back at that moment and spoke before John could answer. “Oh, that's a great idea. Go spend some time with Bobby. That will make you feel better.”

“Yes, I'll come to the penthouse tonight, but if he needs to work this weekend, then he is going to work this weekend. I can see him after Christmas.”

Rogue just shook her head and accepted her sandwich from Kitty. “No. He needs a fuckin' break. He's workin' like this is the last thing he's ever gonna get to do. I want him to tell me what is really wrong but he still won't. You should get him to tell you.”

“He already has,” John said. “Part of what caused the argument.”

“Ah, there was a fight. No wonder you were so bitchy before Piotr came in here,” Kitty said, beginning to make Rogue's drink.

John rang up the order and accepted one of Bobby's credit cards as payment. “He know that he always pays when you come in here?”

“Johnny, he doesn't even realize he pays for his own stuff most of the time, let alone about me buyin' coffee and a sandwich,” Rogue laughed. “But yes, he knows.”

John handed her the card back as Kitty set the drink in front of her. “Tell him I will see him tonight.”

“He's really gonna look forward to that,” Rogue said, picking up her cup. “And Johnny? Bobby loves ya. A lot. Don't doubt that.”

“I'm trying!” John exclaimed. “I'm really trying!”

“I know, darlin',” Rogue said as she walked to the door. “We all do. And so does he.”

Kitty turned to John but before she could say anything, a group of fifteen came into the shop, and they both glanced at each other before moving to their positions. John put a smile on his face and tried to block everything that had just been discussed from his mind. “Welcome to Lehnsherr's. What can I get started for you?”


	3. Chapter 3

**December 7th**

Six days away from John was ruining his sanity, Bobby decided on the Sunday of the weekend he was supposed to be spending with his soulmate. But there had been a massive issue that had arisen with the project right before he was going to leave on Friday night, and it became clear after a few moments of learning what had happened that he couldn't leave at all. So, he'd promised John that he would be there Saturday morning instead, and that went out the window by midnight. He only had time to send a quick apologetic text canceling that before diving back into the work, and now it was Sunday morning and he hadn't seen John in six days and if he didn't leave the office and see the man he loved, he was going to lose his mind.

He took a deep breath and shoved the laptop away from him, not even remotely interested in figuring out the problem with the numbers he was looking at. Instead, he stood up and reached for the intercom, but before he could press any buttons, his secretary came on it. “Mr. Drake, your mother is here.”

Bobby swore loudly and swallowed hard before pressing the right button to respond. “Send her in, please.”

Madeline Drake walked into the office a few moments later, and Bobby walked around the desk to hug her. But Madeline sat down without embracing her son, so Bobby sucked in a deep breath and walked back around the desk. “Mother.”

“Robert, I think we both know why I'm here,” Madeline said. “I need you to do this interview.”

“I'm not doing the interview,” Bobby said firmly, shaking his head. “I'm not lying to the world about me and my soulmate just because of your prejudices.” 

“Your father and I are not prejudiced,” Madeline said. “We are just concerned about the impact this will have on the public image of the family. You must understand that.”

“I understand that Ronny is right. People got the fuck over the fact that there are same-sex soulbonds a long fucking time ago.”

“Language,” Madeline scoffed.

“Really?” Bobby laughed. “That's what you have to say?”

Madeline sighed. “Yes, there have been same-sex soulbonds for a very long time, but that has nothing to do with what we're asking you to do.”

“It has everything to do with what you're asking me to do!” Bobby exclaimed. “You want me to give an interview that will be broadcast around the globe that lies about the color of my soulmark and what John is to me. And I will not do that. He has gone through too much in his life that's he's only starting to deal with. I refuse to do that to him.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Madeline asked. “You have been so reclusive about this man. Ronny said that there is a long history between you two and I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. Perhaps if I knew more about this man, I would be more open to this idea of this being publicly known.”

Bobby ran his hands over his face. “Yes, we have a long history together. We met a couple of days into my freshman year at NYU and it's been quite the ride ever since.”

“So you've been hiding this relationship for five years?” Madeline shook her head. “Robert, honestly.”

“I hid this relationship for this exact reason,” Bobby stressed. “I knew how you two would react. And the last two years have been spent away from him, and I'm not getting into that so don't even ask.”

“Fine,” Madeline said, shaking her head. “May I at least ask what it is this man does? Wall Street?”

Bobby swallowed hard. “John works in a coffee shop in Brooklyn.”

Madeline's eyebrows raised. “He works in a coffee shop in Brooklyn.”

“Yes,” Bobby murmured. “He was forced to drop out of school and was unable to complete his course. That is the job he got and he loves it. It's a great coffee shop. I love going over there.”

“Oh, Robert,” Madeline sighed. “You know that isn't going to be acceptable, right? If we allow you to go public with this, he's going to need much better prospects than working in a coffee shop.”

“You do not get to decide if I go public about this,” Bobby said firmly. “And John's prospects are just fine.”

“So, what? He's just going to use your money for the rest of his life? No, he needs to be able to earn his own.”

“My money is his money too,” Bobby said seriously. “And it's my money, so you don't get any say in that either.”

Madeline's jaw dropped. “Robert Drake, you cannot be serious.”

“Of course, I'm serious,” Bobby said. “It's no different than the way Dad shared his money with you once you entered into your soulbond.”

“There were agreements!” Madeline exclaimed. “Things that limited how much I had access to, what I could spend without his permission. Things that need to be in place with both you and your brother when it comes to your soulmates.”

“Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but that's not going to happen,” Bobby said, shaking his head. “And Dad's a controlling asshole. Of course, he was going to do that to you.”

“Do not talk about your father like that,” Madeline said strongly.

“I'll talk about him however I want when he wants to act like this,” Bobby countered. “He's the dick that's trying to ruin the most special thing in my life. Project after project designed to keep me away from John, designed for me to fail so he can remove me from my position, take my birthright away from me. I know what he's doing, Mother.”

“Your father is trying to get you more involved in the business,” Madeline said calmly. “He is not trying to do any of what you just accused him of.”

“I am more involved in the business than he is!” Bobby exclaimed. “So, I'm sorry, Mother, but that's a bunch of fucking bullshit.”

“Language,” Madeline admonished before sighing heavily. “Will you at least agree to come home for Christmas? I am not happy that you've said you won't be there.”

“Well, you can be not happy about it then, but I'm not going home,” Bobby said, leaning back in his chair. “And nothing you can say will change my mind unless you say that you don't want me to do this fucking interview.”

“I did not raise you to be this foul-mouthed,” Madeline said. “Your grandmother will miss you terribly. You don't know how many more of these Christmases she'll be around for. And it just won't be the same without you and Ronny running around playing games with your young cousins.”

“And look at that, not a single mention of how much you and Dad will be missing me,” Bobby pointed out.

“Of course, we will miss you,” Madeline said. “But things between us are going to be tense until you agree to do this interview.”

“Mother, I'm not doing this interview,” Bobby said seriously. “I have already told a lot of people that I have a red soulmark and that I have found my soulmate. I'm not going to lie to the world and come across as a liar to these very important people.”

“That is completely unacceptable, Robert.”

“Well, that's the way it has to be, Mother.”

“Then you will not be welcome at any family events until you do this interview,” Madeline said, standing up. “Not even your grandmother's funeral when the time comes. You will be sacrificing your family for this.”

“Well, John is all the family that I need,” Bobby said, standing as well.

“That is incredibly offensive,” Madeline said, shaking her head. “You are not the son I raised. I don't know what this John has done to your head but you need to sort yourself out. And soon.”

Madeline started walking towards the door, but Bobby called out to her, causing her to turn back around. “Mother, pass along a message to Dad for me, please?”

“Of course.”

“Tell him that I'm figuring it out,” Bobby said.

“And that means?”

“Just that,” Bobby said, sitting back down. “I'm figuring it out.”

Madeline stared at him for a moment before turning and walking out of the office, and Bobby bent his head down until it was resting on his desk. He glanced up when he heard someone walk into the office a few moments later, sighing in relief when he saw that it was Rogue. “Hi.”

“Oh, darlin', what happened?” Rogue said, coming around the desk and crouching down next to him. “I heard Madeline was here.”

“It was just a conversation that didn't go very well,” Bobby said, sitting up straight. “That's all.” 

“Bobby, will you tell me what is goin' on already? You've got me seriously worried.”

“It's nothing,” Bobby said dismissively. “Just a disagreement between me and my parents. That's it.”

“And it's obviously somethin' big because you're never like this,” Rogue said, sighing. “But fine, I'll let ya get away with not tellin' me again. But this is the last time that's happenin'.”

“Fine,” Bobby said, reaching for his laptop and staring at it. “Fuck, I just want to go home and see John. That's all I want.”

“I'm sorry, darlin'. I know you wanted to spend the whole weekend with him, but these Stryker shipments...”

“Came in and those are always priority number one,” Bobby finished. “Will you let Johnny know that I'm not going to be able to see him at all this weekend as we had planned? Apologize profusely on my behalf and tell him that I'll call him tonight. It might be really late, but I'm determined to do it.”

“Of course,” Rogue said, handing Bobby the papers in her hand. “For the next meetin'.”

Bobby glanced at them for a moment before sighing. “When is it?”

“In twenty minutes.”

“Fuck, I hate this,” Bobby said, thumbing through the papers. “Alright, I'll speedread and then be ready for it.”

“I know,” Rogue said, heading towards the door. “I'll go call Johnny for ya.”

“Thank you,” Bobby said as she walked out of the office. 

He read through the papers as fast as he could, but he was interrupted a few minutes later by the sound of his phone going off. He reached for it and clicked through to the message, smiling at what John had written to him. 

_It's fine. I get it. You have to keep him happy. And don't feel bad about this. We've got the rest of our lives for lazy weekends together. I love you and I'll talk to you tonight. Time doesn't matter. I just want to hear your voice._

Bobby stared at the message for a few minutes before texting back a simple response and picking his paperwork back up, trying to focus on it again.

_I want to hear your voice too and I love you more than anything. I can't wait for you to believe that._


	4. Chapter 4

**December 10th**

Rogue looked up when the elevator doors opened and smiled when John and Jubilee came into view. “Hey, guys.”

“Good afternoon, Rogue,” Jubilee said, walking over to the kitchen and setting the bags in her hands down. “This is going to be so much fun.”

“Will someone please explain to me what this is?” John asked, setting his bags down as well. “Because Jubes refused to tell me and we just bought stuff to make cookies.”

“Well, of course, we're making cookies,” Jubilee said. “We always make cookies for Bobby while we decorate.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Decorate?”

“Yeah, darlin',” Rogue said, walking over to them. “Jubes and I always come over here on December tenth and turn the penthouse into a winter wonderland for Bobby.”

John laughed. “Seriously?”

“He loves it,” Jubilee said. “Besides, the setting has to be right for the party.”

“Party?”

“Bobby's holiday party, of course,” Rogue said, starting to take things out of the bags. “I'm sure he's told you all about that.”

“He hasn't told me a fucking thing about any of this and you know it,” John said, shaking his head. “I'll be lucky if I see him before New Year's at this rate.”

“That's not true, darlin',” Rogue said, heading towards the refrigerator. “He'll be done with this project by the twentieth so long as these Stryker shipments get off in time.”

“I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but I highly doubt this project will be done by the twentieth given what he was saying the last time I talked to him,” John murmured.

“Quit being so fucking pessimistic,” Jubilee declared. “I need you to be more positive about everything. Rogue knows more about this project than you do and if she says that it'll be done by the twentieth, then believe that it'll be done by the twentieth.”

“Fine,” John muttered, walking around the counter and sitting down. “So we're baking cookies and decorating the penthouse? I took a fucking day off work for this.”

“We all did, darlin',” Rogue said, turning to smile at him. “And of course, that's what we're doin'. Bobby counts on us to do this.”

“Trust us, Johnny. Bobby will love that you helped with this,” Jubilee said.

“Besides, it'll be much easier for us to get the trees with you here,” Rogue said, grabbing some more things and putting them into the refrigerator.

“Trees?”

“Well, we can't just put one tree in here,” Jubilee said. “I mean, you've seen how huge this penthouse is. One tree just isn't enough, especially with the party.”

“So I have to help you haul trees up here? No fucking way.”

Jubilee shook her head. “They're fake trees, Johnny. They're in storage here in the penthouse.”

“Whatever,” John sighed. “This is not what I thought was happening.”

“You wouldn't have come over if we told you what was happenin',” Rogue said, shutting the refrigerator and turning around. “Alright, let's get the stuff out of storage and then we can get started on the cookies.”

Rogue and Jubilee started walking towards the side of the penthouse that John hadn't been in, so he stood up and followed them. “So what kind of cookies do you bake him?”

“Sugar cookies,” Jubilee said without turning around. “Rogue's great-grandmother's recipe.”

“I thought you didn't talk to your family.”

“I don't,” Rogue said seriously. “Fuckin' dicks. I stole my grandmother's recipe book before I left. I was supposed to inherit it but my mother kept it instead. I figured I might use it for cookin' for a soulmate someday, but then again, I ain't sure I'm gonna have one.”

“You're going to have a soulmate,” Jubilee stressed. “And we've only got a couple of days until we see your soulmark.”

“Yeah, what are we doing for your birthday?” John asked. “And I promise you I will get you a present once I have some money.”

“I don't need no presents, Johnny, but thank you,” Rogue said, sighing. “And I don't want to do anythin' for my birthday. I just wanna spend it quietly at home, but I can't do that given how work's goin', so I figure Bobby and I will have lunch out somewhere or maybe dinner. And then we'll go back to work.”

“You are getting presents whether you like it or not,” Jubilee said firmly. “And we're going to do something to mark your birthday. This is a big one.”

“Fine, fine,” Rogue said, going into a room and flipping the lights on. “Alright, they're in here somewhere.”

John walked into the room and his eyes widened. “How much shit does he keep in here?”

“You know Bobby. He's a hoarder,” Jubilee said, walking towards a corner. “I think this is where we put them last year.”

“Johnny, can you check the closet for some big red totes?” Rogue asked as she started moving things around. “Those have a lot of stuff we need in them.”

John walked over to the closet and opened the door, sighing when he realized it was a walk-in closet. He headed inside it and started looking around, but a box caught his eye and he sank to his knees just at the sight of it.

The box was old and battered, something that his eyes should have just danced over and kept going, but half of its top was open and John could see inside, and he wasn't prepared for this at all.

His stuff. The stuff he'd left behind when he'd left. The stuff that had once meant the world to him.

The stuff Bobby had said he still had, something which John had just thought was bullshit.

“Johnny, you find those totes yet?” Jubilee's voice broke through the haze that surrounded him. “Because we've found the trees and will need some help.”

John couldn't respond, his mind still focused on the box in front of him. He wanted to reach for it and pull everything out and reminisce about days gone by. He wanted to laugh at the funny pictures of him and Bobby, and smile at the stupid ballerina statue that Bobby had drunkenly bought him one night at a carnival. He wanted to see the things he used to love. He wanted to remember that he'd once thought the world about those things and that those things meant that he meant the world to Bobby. 

He wanted to believe that he was loved. He really did.

“Johnny?” Jubilee crouched down next to him and John looked over at her, and she reached out and wiped away tears that John didn't even realize were flowing. “What is it, Johnny?”

“My stuff,” John got out, and Jubilee gave him a confused look.

“What?”

“Bobby still has all of Johnny's stuff,” Rogue said, crouching down on John's other side. “I kept tellin' him to donate it but he never did. He always thought that Johnny would come back and want it.”

“I didn't believe him when he said he had it,” John whispered. “But now that I'm seeing that he does, all I can think about is how I used to feel about those things. How those things used to make me feel.”

“Oh, Johnny,” Jubilee said softly. “He loves you. I know we keep telling you that, but he really does.” 

“It used to be that I almost believed that,” John murmured. “It was the only possible explanation for his actions. The only possible explanation for why he wanted to be with me. And then everything happened and that just went away.”

“And you don't think that way anymore?” Rogue asked. “Because I think that would be somethin' that's more obvious than ever.”

John swallowed hard. “I can't. I just can't.”

“You can though,” Jubilee said. “You really can.”

John sat there for a moment. “You really think he loves me?”

“I know he does, darlin',” Rogue said.

“He definitely does, Johnny,” Jubilee added. “You didn't see how he was without you. And now that he has you back, it's like he's come to life again. That's how much he loves you. He's not alive without you.”

“I want to believe that. I really do.”

“Then believe it because it's the truth,” Jubilee said, wiping away his tears again. “I wouldn't lie to you about this. Neither would Rogue. And when Bobby says he loves you, he's not lying either.”

John ran his hands over his face and sucked in a deep breath. “Red totes. I'm supposed to be looking for red totes.”

“Fuck the totes,” Rogue said, putting a gloved hand on his shoulder. “This is much more important.”

John leaned into Jubilee's side and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “We love you, Johnny. All of us. But none of us love you the way he does. He always has too. He told me once while you two were apart that he fell in love with you that first night, and I believe him. You two have been captivated by each other since the moment you met.”

John let out a small laugh. “I think I fell in love with him that night too. He was the most amazing man I'd ever met. I still can't believe that he was interested in me.”

“It goes back to that, doesn't it?” Rogue asked softly. “You haven't believed him since that first night.”

John nodded against Jubilee's shoulder. “Do you understand why it's not so easy for me to just believe him now? Everything we've done together is a dream to me that's going to end in horrific circumstances when he realizes he deserves better. That's why I left before. Better to leave before you're left.”

“He's not going to leave, darlin',” Rogue said, nodding when John looked over at her. “I'm not lyin' to you, I promise.”

“He should.”

“No, he shouldn't,” Jubilee said firmly. “That boy loves you more than we're capable of putting into words. He loves you the way you love him.”

John closed his eyes and turned his face into Jubilee's neck. “I can't. I just can't.”

“I hate your father,” Jubilee said, shaking her head. “I motherfucking hate him so much. I've got half a mind to go over there and let him know exactly what it is he's done to his son and that I'm going to kill him over it.”

“Don't do that,” John mumbled. “They don't deserve to even be acknowledged.”

“Shut up. I know you miss them,” Jubilee murmured. “But I also know that you have created a new family for yourself and we all love you for who you are.”

John took a couple of deep breaths. “Really?”

“Yes, darlin',” Rogue said, squeezing John's shoulder. “We all love you.”

“I want to believe that. I want to believe it so much.”

“And you can,” Jubilee said softly. “And you will. I know it.”

John took another couple of deep breaths before sitting up. “I'm trying. I really am.”

“We know, Johnny, and we're so proud of you for the progress you've made,” Rogue said, smiling at him. “And we all know that you'll get there someday.”

John swallowed hard before nodding. “I'm going to. I really am.”

“I'm glad that you believe that, at least,” Jubilee said, looking around the closet. “Oh, hey, there's the totes.”

“Then let's get back to what we were doing,” John said, nodding when they both looked at him. “I'm alright, guys. I need us to get back to what we were doing.”

“Then that's what we'll do,” Rogue said, standing up. “You grab one of the totes, Jubes. Johnny, I need you to help with the trees. The boxes are pretty big.”

John got to his feet and followed Rogue out of the closet, his eyes widening when he saw the boxes Rogue referred to. “How the fuck do the two of you ever move these? They're huge.”

“Usually Piotr did that part for us, but he's not exactly speakin' to me right now so that's why we needed your help today.”

“Why is Piotr not speaking to you?”

“Because I let him know that he's actin' like a motherfuckin' douchebag and he's not happy with me.”

John sighed heavily. “This is about him threatening me, isn't it?”

“He shouldn't fuckin' be doin' that. He should fuckin' respect Bobby's decisions when it comes to you, and Piotr said he has good fuckin' reasons for why he's doin' this but he won't tell me what they are.”

John thought back to what Piotr had told him about Bobby being suicidal and sighed. “I know what they are.”

“So what are they?” Jubilee asked as she emerged from the closet. “Because Rogue's right, Piotr is acting like a little bitch.”

“I can't tell you. I promised him I wouldn't say anything to you two about it,” John said. “And I'm not about to upset him by telling you.”

“Which means you should tell us,” Jubilee said, setting the tote down. “Because it's obviously important.”

“I'd rather not be dismembered if you don't mind.”

“He's not gonna do that,” Rogue said seriously. “No one is gonna let him touch a hair on your head.”

“Something tells me that you two aren't going to be able to stop him when he's that angry,” John murmured, looking at the boxes. “How many trees are there?”

“Ten,” Rogue said, and John's head whipped around to stare at her.

“Excuse me?”

“The penthouse has to be decorated appropriately, Johnny,” Rogue said seriously. “This holiday party is a big fuckin' deal.”

John sighed heavily. “I hope my presence isn't required at this.”

“Of course, it is,” Jubilee said, smacking his shoulder. “You are his soulmate, Johnny. That means you do things like attend the holiday party.”

“Whatever,” John murmured, stepping closer to the boxes. “I'll get the boxes. You two go start on the cookies or whatever the fuck it is we're doing next.”

Rogue and Jubilee looked at each other for a moment before Jubilee picked up the tote. “You get the other one, Rogue. We'll get started on the cookies and Johnny can join us.”

“Okay, darlin',” Rogue said, walking into the closet and grabbing the other tote. “We'll meet you in the kitchen, Johnny.”

John just nodded as they walked out of the room and he stared at the boxes in front of him. His mind was still racing with all the thoughts that had sprung to it upon seeing that box in the closet and now he had all these thoughts about what it meant to be Bobby's soulmate racing through it too. There was a time when he'd been prepared for all of this, when he'd realized that being Bobby's partner meant that he'd have to be somewhat of a public figure too. But those were the days when he thought he'd have an actual career that wouldn't embarrass Bobby, when he'd been at a point where he wouldn't feel like he couldn't hold a conversation with Bobby's colleagues, when he'd begun to believe that Bobby loved him.

But those days were gone and he was left to face those situations with an embarrassing career, without being able to carry on a conversation about anything but pop culture, and when he didn't believe that Bobby loved him.

“Johnny, you okay in there?”

Rogue's voice snapped John out of his thoughts and he reached for the first box. “Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to figure out a way to get these boxes out of here without breaking my back.”

“Yeah, they're pretty heavy,” Rogue called out. “Just bring them into the room next to the kitchen. We can go from there.”

“Does that mean I'll have to move them again?”

Rogue was silent for a moment. “Good point. Okay, why don't you just leave them there and come join us in the kitchen? When we're ready for the trees, we can come to get them from there.”

“Alright,” John said, looking back at the closet for a moment. “Just no talk about the box in the closet.”

“I promise, darlin',” Rogue said, appearing in the doorway. “We can talk about Christmas presents instead. I'm dyin' to know what you're gettin' Bobby.”

John groaned. “Not a motherfucking thing because I'm broke as fuck.”

“That's okay, you know. He'll understand.”

“He's probably going to get me some expensive as fuck thing and I will have nothing for him,” John said, running his hands over his face. “Fuck.”

“Come out to the kitchen and we will talk about what you can get him then,” Rogue said, smiling at him. “We'll figure somethin' out.”

John took a deep breath and walked over to the doorway, letting Rogue wrap him up in a hug. “I think I liked my life better before he walked into the coffee shop.”

“I know it's an adjustment, darlin', but I think that you're adjustin' just fine. It won't be long until you're okay with all of this again.”

“I was never okay with all of this,” John said, pulling back and walking out the door. “So, what do you do with these cookies? I'm sure those are decorated too.”

“Well, of course, darlin'. We even took a cookie decorating class to make sure that they come out perfectly.”

“A cookie decorating class? Why don't you just order them?”

“Because we like doin' this,” Rogue said, slipping her hand through John's arm. “And we're gonna make you enjoy it too. You're gonna be on cookie-cutter duty.”

“I'm going to hate this, aren't I?”

“You're gonna love it.”

“We'll see about that.”


	5. Chapter 5

**December 13th**

The elevator doors opened and Bobby walked into the penthouse, dropping his messenger bag to the floor. He didn't think about the fact that his laptop was in it and had crashed to the floor hard, just looked around at the Christmas decorations that had been put up and smiled. The penthouse looked great, just like it always looked great, and he knew he had Rogue and Jubilee to thank for that.

He walked over to the kitchen and picked up the note, reading through it quickly and smiling even more when he saw John's name alongside the girls' at the bottom. John had helped put up the decorations and that made them better than ever. He reached for the plate that the note had been on top of, taking off the plastic wrap and reaching for a cookie. He took a bite and chewed it quickly, savoring the taste of a perfectly baked sugar cookie. 

Rogue's great-grandmother's recipe made the best cookies he'd ever had. 

Bobby picked up the plate and started walking towards his bedroom, turning around when he heard the sounds of the elevator arriving again. Confused, he walked over to it and waited to see who it was because no one had buzzed the apartment and only a few people had a key to come up without Bobby giving permission. When the elevator doors opened, he broke out into a big grin when he saw who was there.

“I didn't know you were going to be here,” John said as he walked out of the elevator. “I was just coming over to get something I left here the other day.”

“It is so good to see you,” Bobby said, dropping the plate to the floor and wrapping his arms around John when he got close enough. “So fucking good.”

John just shook his head and broke the embrace, bending down to get the plate and placing the cookies back on it. “We worked hard on these cookies, you know. Don't just go dropping them onto the floor.”

“I don't give a fuck about the cookies at the moment,” Bobby said honestly. “Not when I'm seeing you for the first time in two weeks.”

John stood up with the plate and walked over to the kitchen, dumping the cookies into the trash before setting the plate down. By the time he turned around, Bobby was right next to him, and they stared at each other for a moment before Bobby grabbed him and pulled him into a deep kiss. John moaned into it and Bobby grabbed onto his waist, walking them in the direction of his bedroom. John's coat ended up on the floor just outside the kitchen, both of their shirts hitting the ground somewhere in the hallway, and by the time they reached the bedroom, both of them were rock hard and reaching for the zipper of each other's pants.

Bobby groaned as John was successful first, sighing happily as John shoved his pants and boxers down far enough that it freed his cock. John's hand wrapped around it a moment later and Bobby shuddered, his hands faltering in their objective. John laughed into Bobby's skin as his lips trailed down his throat, and Bobby threw his head back and moaned when John's thumb started massaging the slit. “Johnny, oh fuck, Johnny.”

“I missed you,” John murmured, nipping at Bobby's collarbone. “I missed this.”

“Me, fuck, too,” Bobby got out, groaning when John closed his fist around the head and jerked it slowly. “Can we at least get in bed before you make me come? Please?”

John laughed and pulled back, and Bobby whined when his hand moved away from his dick. “Get undressed and on the bed then, baby.”

Bobby had never taken his pants and shoes off faster. He crawled onto the bed and John joined him a moment later, and then they were kissing passionately and grinding against each other. John rolled Bobby onto his back and started kissing his way down his chest, Bobby sighing happily above him. “You feel so good, Johnny.”

“I haven't done anything yet,” John pointed out, licking at the soft skin above Bobby's cock. “Not a motherfucking thing.”

“Still feel good,” Bobby murmured, gasping as John kissed along where his hips met his thighs. “So fucking good.”

John trailed his lips down one side and then the other before bending down and taking one of Bobby's balls into his mouth. Bobby groaned loudly above him as John sucked gently on one then the other before licking his way up to the base of his cock. He ran his tongue along the underside to the tip, lips closing around the head and sucking gently. 

Moans were spilling freely from Bobby's lips as John slowly took more of him into his mouth. Bobby's hands tangled into John's hair as he bobbed up and down, taking more and more of him until he was taking Bobby completely on the downstrokes. Bobby found breathing become more difficult with each passing second, and when John looked up at him before swallowing, that was all it took. Bobby came hard, shooting his load down John's throat with a scream. 

John let Bobby's cock slip from his mouth and sat back on his knees, licking his lips. “Mmm, you taste good.”

Bobby's chest was heaving and his eyes were wild, and John laughed before leaning down to kiss him. They kissed lazily as John's hand slid underneath the pillow and searched for the lube, breaking away once he found it and sitting back. “Spread your legs.”

Bobby quickly reached down and pulled his legs back, moaning softly when John trailed a finger along his hole before flipping open the cap. “Your mouth is filthy. You can blow me any day of the week.”

John just grinned. “I'm glad to know that my services are required.”

“They'll always be required,” Bobby said, gasping when a finger slowly slid into him. “Oh, holy fuck.”

“Relax, baby,” John murmured. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“You're not going to,” Bobby said, letting his tense muscles calm. “But I am going to kill you if you don't fuck me soon.”

“I'm going to kill myself if I don't fuck you soon,” John laughed, letting his other hand drift down to wrap around his cock. “Fuck, I'm hard.”

Bobby groaned loudly as John slid another finger into him, moving them around. “I don't know how I survived two years without this.”

“Me either,” John said, looking up at Bobby with love in his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Bobby said, and John wanted to believe it so badly. 

Before he could think too much about that, Bobby's legs started to tremble and he began to swear loudly, and John knew he'd found his prostate. He massaged it gently as Bobby's hand wrapped around his dick, working it hard and fast as he threw his head back. “I love doing this to you.”

“You are a lousy motherfucker,” Bobby got out, letting his thumb play with the head before moaning loudly. “Stop, stop, stop.”

John didn't listen to him and kept running his fingertips along his prostate, and it wasn't long before Bobby was coming again, white streaks landing all over his chest. Bobby gasped for breath loudly, unable to speak, as John leaned forward and licked at his chest, lapping up all of Bobby's release as he moved his fingers slowly in and out. “Holy fuck, that's indecent,” Bobby finally managed to say, and John just looked up at him with a grin.

“I promised you on the phone that we'd do naughty things the next time we saw each other. I'm just living up to my promise.”

John sat back and looked around, frowning before he remembered he hadn't yet grabbed a condom. He leaned over to the bedside table and opened up the drawer, reaching inside and grabbing the first foil packet his fingers found. He sat back up and pulled his fingers from Bobby's body, tearing the packet with his teeth and quickly rolling the condom on. He slicked it up with lube and pulled Bobby closer to him, lining himself up and slowly pushing into Bobby.

“Oh, fuck, you feel good,” John moaned as he slid fully into him, and Bobby grabbed at the bedsheets when John began to thrust.

“Motherfucking fuck,” Bobby groaned, hands curling into fists when John switched the angle. “You are a bastard if you do this to me again.”

“You're still talking,” John murmured, a smile on his face. “That means I must do better.”

John kept the angle but picked up the speed of his thrusts, and Bobby screamed as John drove straight into his prostate over and over and over. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“That's more like it,” John said, laughing when Bobby kicked at him. “You are loving this and you know it.”

“Fuck, yes, fuck,” Bobby got out before wrapping his legs around John's waist and pulling him closer. “Harder, fuck.”

John bent down so he was hovering over him and did as he was asked, thrusting harder and faster as he crushed their lips together. Bobby's arms wrapped around his neck and held him there even when their kiss broke, panting and staring straight into John's eyes. “Touch me,” he begged quietly. “Please touch me.”

John shifted his weight onto one arm and drifted the other down, wrapping his hand around Bobby's dick as he laughed. “Am I really going to make you come three times?”

“Yes, you motherfucker,” Bobby said through gritted teeth. “Fuck, yes, fuck, fuck, fuck, more.”

John felt the tension in his body ratchet up so he moved faster, trying desperately to make Bobby come before he did. It wasn't long before Bobby was screaming out his name and John felt the streaks hit his chest, and he allowed himself to give in and felt the world explode around him as he came. 

He carefully pulled out of Bobby and lowered his legs down before collapsing on top of him, sucking in deep breaths as he tried to regain control of himself. Bobby's eyes were closed and his chest was heaving as he gasped for air. They'd had plenty of sex over the years, but they'd never had sex like that before. He was thoroughly exhausted and needed to sleep for hours, so he had no idea how he was going to get up and go back to work. 

At the thought of work, his eyes flew open and he looked over at the clock on the bedside table. “Fuck.”

“I know, baby,” John said sleepily. “That was fucking incredible.”

“I've got to call Rogue,” Bobby said seriously. “I was only supposed to be here to take a shower.”

John laughed. “Well, we definitely need showers, that's for sure.”

“I'm being serious, Johnny.”

“Well, I'm not moving for a while, so you're just going to have to deal with it,” John murmured, closing his eyes. “She'll understand once you tell her.”

“I am not calling her and telling her that we fucked.”

“Why not? The girls know that was the first thing we'd do when we saw each other again.”

Bobby felt his cheeks warm. “Really?”

John turned his head so he could look at Bobby. “They're not idiots, baby. They know that we fuck, and they know that we would have fucked a lot in the last two weeks, and they know that we need to make up for it.”

Bobby sucked in a couple of deep breaths. “Right. You're right. I know you're right.”

“But you don't like people knowing that we fuck.”

“Kind of?”

“You've got to get over that, baby. I'm not hiding that from anyone, especially our friends.”

“I know, I know,” Bobby murmured. “I will. I promise.”

John drew Bobby into a kiss and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Bobby said softly. “And I can't wait for you to believe that.”

“Me too, baby. Me too. Now, can we sleep for a while?”

Bobby nodded and they both closed their eyes, and within minutes, they were asleep.

Bobby woke up a couple of hours later and found John still sleeping next to him, but he wasn't on top of him anymore so Bobby slid out of bed and reached for his boxers. He glanced down at his chest on the way out of the room and saw the dried, sticky mess, and he decided he absolutely needed to get in the shower before he did anything else. He made his way to his bag and pulled out his phone, sighing when he saw the six messages and two missed calls from Rogue. He sent a quick text back to her that simply said John was there, and then he put the phone on the counter and headed towards the shower.

John was still asleep once Bobby was fully showered and dressed, and he wanted desperately to climb back in bed and wrap himself around John and go back to sleep, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he crouched down next to the bed and brushed some hair out of John's eyes before leaning in and kissing him awake. 

John's eyes opened slowly but he smiled when Bobby came into view. “You're dressed.”

“I have to go back to work,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “But you can stay as long as you want. Stay the night even.”

John reached out and snagged one of Bobby's hands, kissing the inside of his wrist. “I might just take you up on that because I'm not sure I can stand yet.”

“Yeah, well, I'm going to have a hell of a time sitting at work when I'm this open,” Bobby murmured. “But I have no choice.”

“I hate your father,” John mumbled. 

“Me too, but I have to do this to keep him happy,” Bobby said softly. “I'll be done with this soon though. I think it'll only be about another week.”

“I can't wait. That way we might be able to enjoy Christmas.”

“Oh, we'll be enjoying Christmas, I promise,” Bobby said, leaning in and kissing him again. “I really have to go now.”

John just nodded. “Then go. I'll talk to you later.”

“I love you,” Bobby said, standing up. 

“I love you too,” John said, closing his eyes as Bobby walked away.

He headed out of the room and towards the elevator, grabbing his phone and messenger bag before calling it. He glanced around the room and smiled once again at the decorations before stepping inside of it when it arrived. 

This trip home had been exactly what he needed.

Exactly.


	6. Chapter 6

**December 16th**

“Hey, Bobby?”

Bobby didn't look up from his laptop. “What, Rogue?”

“I was just lookin' at your schedule, and there's somethin' on it I don't know about, so I'm comin' to find out why that is.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about, so if you could please clarify that, it would be much appreciated.”

“You have an interview with _People_ magazine on your schedule for tomorrow and I don't know nothin' about that.”

Bobby's head shot up. “What?”

Rogue held up the iPad in her hands. “It's on the schedule. Two p.m. tomorrow afternoon. Why didn't ya tell me you were gonna do an interview? I could've been gettin' prepared for it.”

Bobby started beating the desk with his hand. “Get Yuriko in here. NOW.”

Rogue stared at him for a moment. “What aren't you tellin' me?”

“Get her in here,” Bobby growled, so Rogue nodded and walked out of the room.

She came back a few moments later with Yuriko in tow, and Bobby glared at her. “He told you to schedule this interview tomorrow, didn't he?”

“I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Drake,” Yuriko said.

“The interview tomorrow with _People_ ,” Bobby said, gripping the edge of his desk to keep control of his anger. “He told you to schedule that, didn't he?”

“Mr. Drake...”

“Yuriko, if you like your job, I suggest you answer my question because otherwise, you'll be looking for another one.”

Rogue gave him an alarmed look but Yuriko just dropped her head. “Not your father. Your mother. She requested that I take care of arranging it for you and said that you knew what it was about but you had left her in charge of choosing the publication. She wanted the interview to be as soon as possible and we were able to get it scheduled for this week.”

Bobby sucked in a couple of deep breaths. “Thank you, Yuriko. You may now go back to work.”

Yuriko nodded and walked out of the office, so Rogue closed the door behind her and turned to Bobby. “You are tellin' me what's goin' on right now. Right fuckin' now.”

Bobby sat back in his chair and ran his hands over his face. “Get me out of the interview.”

“I can't do that and you know it. It'll raise too many questions. Stop fuckin' stallin' and answer mine so I can prepare you for this.”

“My parents have requested that I give an interview. Not about business but me personally.”

Rogue gave him a confused look. “You never talk about your personal life.”

“Exactly, which is why this is going to become a huge thing,” Bobby said, leaning his head against the desk. “Fuck.”

Rogue walked around the desk and crouched down next to the chair, running a hand along his back. “What are they expectin' you to say in this interview, Bobby?”

Bobby took a shuddering breath. “They want me to talk about me.”

“That ain't answerin' my question and you know it.”

“They want me to talk about my soulmate,” Bobby whispered.

“That still ain't answerin' my question.”

“They want me to say my soulmark is blue,” Bobby finally got out. “They want me to say that John is nothing more than my friend and that I'm still looking for the woman of my dreams.”

“Oh, darlin'.”

“I told them I wouldn't do it,” Bobby murmured. “I told them that I couldn't do that to him. I'm not speaking to them about it. She's done this in an attempt to force me to do what they want. But I can't, Rogue. I can't do it.”

“Then don't,” Rogue said, and Bobby turned and looked at her. “I'm serious, darlin'. Don't do what they want. If they want this to be a personal interview, then make it a personal interview. Tell 'em everythin'. Your sexuality, the actual color of your soulmark, who Johnny is to you, that you're a mutant. Everythin' that your parents have never wanted to be public knowledge but you did. Get it all out.”

“I can't do that either.”

“Why?” Rogue asked seriously. “Why can you not just do what you fuckin' want for once?”

“I think my father is lying to me about my inheritance,” Bobby said quietly. “Ronny agrees with me.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“It means that I think it's possible that my grandfather bypassed my father in his will and left everything to me and Ronny. Based on things he's said to me in the past, I can completely see him doing that. But until I get someone who can read my grandfather's will, I can't know that for sure. My grandfather's lawyer only let my father read it because he said that there were things in there that only my father should know, and then conveniently, he became my father's lawyer.”

Rogue's eyes widened. “What?”

“I know, it seems rather unbelievable, and I think Johnny still thinks that it is, but Ronny agrees that someone at least needs to read that will and figure out why it is it has to be such a closely guarded secret.”

“Which is why you want the appointment with that lawyer that I've been puttin' off makin' because it didn't seem important.”

“Exactly,” Bobby said. “So please make that appointment soon.”

“You'll see him before the end of the week, I promise.” Rogue sat back on her heels and shook her head. “I'd like to say that I can't picture your father doin' somethin' so fuckin' manipulative, but I can't. That's exactly somethin' that he'd do.”

“I know,” Bobby said, sitting up and glancing at his laptop. “I can't do this interview.”

“No, you're doin' the fuckin' interview,” Rogue said seriously. “If ya don't want to go all the way like I said you should, then you can go part of the way instead.”

“Meaning?”

“Meanin' that your soulmark is red but that you are not wishin' to discuss that matter any further. That means that the public is still interested in your soulmate, and don't even try tellin' me that you think they aren't, but it's said in a way that appeases your parents because you didn't talk about that soulmate the way you want to. If I were you, I'd mention the mutant thing too but I'm not you.”

Bobby stared at her for a moment. “And you think that would work?”

“I think it would work,” Rogue confirmed. “That way you're not lyin' about Johnny either because I know that's somethin' that wouldn't help his situation at all.”

“That's one of the reasons why I can't do it,” Bobby said softly. “I don't want him to be set back any more than he already is. Some of the stuff he's said to me, Rogue...I've never actually wanted to physically kill people before but if I was ever face to face with his father again, I would.”

“I can only imagine, darlin',” Rogue said, peering at him. “You okay enough that I can go schedule this appointment?”

Bobby nodded. “As soon as possible, please.”

“I'll be back in a few minutes to tell you when it is, okay? We'll talk some more about what to say in this interview when I come back.”

“Thanks, Rogue.”

“Just doin' my job, darlin',” Rogue said, standing up and walking out of the room. 

Bobby turned his attention back to his laptop and scrolled through the information there, trying to find the place where he'd been but realizing after a moment that there was no way he'd be able to concentrate again. Now that he knew the depths his parents were willing to go to, maybe it was time for him to go to some depths of his own.

He pushed the laptop to the side and reached for his phone, checking the time before clicking through his contacts. He picked out John's and quickly called him, smiling when he heard him answer almost immediately. “Hi, Johnny. I hope I'm not interrupting you too much.”

“We're dead as fuck so you're not,” John said. “I wasn't expecting to hear from you until late tonight.”

“And I wasn't expecting to find a scheduled interview with _People_ magazine suddenly showing up on my calendar either.”

“What?”

“My mother had Yuriko schedule the fucking interview in an attempt to force me to do it,” Bobby sighed. “I can't cancel because that would be entirely too suspicious, but what I can do is talk about what I want to in this interview. So, that's why I'm calling.”

“Fuck, I hate your parents,” John breathed out. “What are you going to talk about then?”

“You,” Bobby murmured. “If you'll let me.”

“Which means?”

“Which means I need to know how into detail I can get. I don't want to say anything that will upset you or make things worse.”

“I don't understand what that's supposed to mean.”

“It means I want to be completely honest,” Bobby said seriously. “I want to tell them about my soulmark and you and college and how we split and how we found each other again. I want to tell them about you and me and the way things are. But I don't want to say anything that you don't want me to say.”

Bobby heard John suck in a deep breath. “Are you sure that's a good idea?”

“Rogue's getting me an appointment with that lawyer I told you about this week. I don't know how long it'll take to get a copy of my grandfather's will but I'm getting a copy of it and I'm discovering my father's lies.”

“And if you're wrong? Because if you're wrong and you say all of that in this interview, then you are going to lose everything you have.”

“And yet I won't because the most important thing in the world to me is you.”

“Bobby,” John sighed. “I don't know about this.”

“Johnny, I'm not going to do anything that you don't want me to do. So if you think that I shouldn't do this, then I won't.”

“It's not that,” John said. “It's that I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. I know how hard you work, baby. I know how much that inheritance means to you. I don't want you to lose it over something stupid.”

“Being honest about you is not something stupid,” Bobby said strongly. “If I'm wrong about my grandfather's will then I'm wrong. If that means I'm not here working myself to death every time my father has an idea about what I should be doing then fine. I am not hiding you or the fact that you're my soulmate or the fact that I love you. Not anymore.”

John was quiet for a few moments, and Bobby was about to speak again when he heard John's voice. “You really do love me, don't you? I mean, I can't come up with any other reason why you'd want to give all of that up for me.”

“Yes,” Bobby said, smiling. “I do. And you're worth giving up all of it for. You really, really are.”

“I don't even know what to say about that.”

“Say you believe me,” Bobby said. “That's all I want you to say.”

“I'm working on it,” John whispered. “I'm really, really working on it.”

“I know, Johnny. I know.”

John cleared his throat. “As for the rest of what you're asking me, exactly how detailed do you want to get? Because I don't want the world reading about my mental health in a fucking magazine.”

“I wouldn't bring that up,” Bobby said seriously. “I just...I'm a Drake, Johnny, and it seems like sometimes when people start digging on us that they find out details to things that never should be public knowledge. So I can say we just found each other all I want, but someone is going to find out that you were my roommate in college and put two and two together. I know some people already tried to find out who you were right after we moved in together.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Inquiries on who you were came into my grandfather's office about a month after we moved in together,” Bobby said quietly. “So my grandfather called me and I told him you were my roommate. He asked me why I needed a roommate and I told him that I thought it would be nice to have someone else living in that gigantic apartment with me. He told me that he thought it was a great idea and to leave the rest to him. Whatever it was he did, nothing about you living there with me ever came out.”

“And you didn't think this was something you should have told me then?”

“I didn't want to freak you out. And when nothing came of it, it just didn't seem relevant anymore.”

John sighed heavily. “So basically what you're saying is that if you don't let people know about our relationship prior to you getting your soulmark, someone is going to find out anyway.”

“We didn't exactly hide sometimes,” Bobby pointed out. “There were plenty of people who knew we were at least fucking whether we admitted we were or not.”

“Fuck, I'd forgotten about that. And if those people heard my name connected to you...”

“Then they'd know about our past while we were at college,” Bobby finished. “This is why it's better to get in front of any potential problems.”

“Now you sound like a businessman instead of my boyfriend.”

“I'm just being realistic, Johnny. I know far more about this side of things than you do.”

“I know, I know,” John murmured. “So you want to tell them everything then. I'm still not sure that this is a good idea considering what's going on with your parents.”

“I am done letting my father dictate my life,” Bobby said firmly. “He might get to bury me in work, but the fuck if he's going to force me to lie about the person who means the most to me.”

“And if you lose everything because of this?”

“I wouldn't be losing everything. I'd still have you.”

“And what would you do with your days, hm? Because I know better than to think that you'd just sit around in that penthouse all day.”

“I'll figure something out, but it's not going to come to that because I'm right about my inheritance.”

“You don't know that.”

“You don't know my grandfather and father like I do either.”

“When is this interview?” John said after a moment.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Then you will be calling back tonight and we will go over everything that you want to say in detail. I know better than to try to talk you out of this.”

“I really won't say anything if you don't want me to.”

“Oh, no, I want you to. You know I don't want to hide this from anyone. I just don't want you to say certain things and I'd rather not say them to you whilst at the coffee shop.”

“Then I'll call you tonight,” Bobby said, looking up as Rogue walked back into his office. “I love you, Johnny.”

“I love you too, baby. I'll talk to you later.”

Bobby hung up the phone and tossed it onto the desk as Rogue closed the door to his office. “Did you get me an appointment?”

“Tomorrow mornin' at nine. We'll get lunch after that and then head to the location of the interview, which is at a hotel downtown.”

“Good.”

“So, let's figure out what you're gonna say in this interview.”

“I've already figured that out,” Bobby said, smiling at her as she sat down. “And I'm going to work out the details of what I can and cannot say with Johnny tonight but fuck my parents. I'm going to tell the fucking truth.”

Rogue grinned at him. “I think that's wonderful, darlin'. Is Johnny freakin' out about it?”

“Not really, I don't think, but he was in the middle of the shop and so I don't think I heard too much of his actual opinion.”

“If he's not comfortable with this...”

“Then I'm not going to do it. At least not about him. If nothing else, I'm going to tell them that my soulmark is red and that I'm a mutant. But I don't think it'll be something that he's uncomfortable with. He said he wants me to do it; he just doesn't want certain things to be mentioned.”

“I'm glad you're talkin' to him about this,” Rogue said. “I also think you should talk to Ronny about the fact that you're doin' this before you do it.”

“Probably a good idea,” Bobby said, looking at the clock. “Fuck, it's almost five o'clock already?”

“Yes, it is, and you're goin' home,” Rogue said, shaking her head when Bobby turned back to her. “This conversation between you and Johnny will go much better in person than over the phone, so you're gonna go pick him up from work and then head back to the penthouse so you can talk about this. Call and tell me what you want and I'll make sure dinner arrives shortly after you get there.”

“Rogue,” Bobby started, but Rogue just glared at him.

“There is absolutely nothin' you have left to do that can't wait until tomorrow and you know it. Everythin' is almost wrapped up on this project and then you're takin' Friday off and spendin' the entire weekend with Johnny, and you're not gonna argue about that with me either.”

Bobby saw the look on Rogue's face and sighed. “Fine, I'll go home.”

“Call Ronny on your way to the shop. I'll call Johnny and let him know what's goin' on.” Rogue stood up and started walking towards the door. “And you're not comin' to the office before your appointment tomorrow either. I'll meet you at the penthouse.”

“You know, I'm technically your boss, not the other way around.”

Rogue laughed. “Darlin', I'm just helpin' you out. You’d be lost otherwise.”

“I know, I know.”

“It's gonna be okay, Bobby. I promise you that.”

Bobby stood up as she walked out of the office, taking a deep breath before reaching for his messenger bag. Things were going to be okay. They were. And if they weren't, then he'd have his trust funds and more importantly John to fall back on. 

That thought comforted him more than anything Rogue said ever could.


	7. Chapter 7

**December 19th**

The first thing John noticed when Rogue walked into the coffee shop was the intricate red lace pattern on the side of her neck, and he broke out into a grin when he realized that it was her soulmark. “I am so happy for you.”

“About what?” Rogue asked, before bringing her hand up to her neck. “Oh, about this? Thanks, darlin', but I certainly ain't happy about it.”

John frowned. “Why not?”

“Because it means that there's someone out there that's destined to love me, and I ain't exactly someone capable of lovin' someone the way they deserve,” Rogue said, shaking her head. “Anyway, I have been sent here to collect you and take you to the penthouse. Bobby will be there by the time we get over there, but he didn't have time to get here before your shift was over.”

John just shook his head. “We are revisiting this soulmate conversation in the car. Give me a minute to clock out.”

Rogue nodded and John headed into the back, walking over to the computer and quickly signing out of the system. Charles walked into the room just as he was finishing up, and he smiled warmly at John when he turned around. “Do you have plans for the weekend, John? Erik and I were thinking of having a holiday dinner at our place for everyone. Bobby would be invited too, of course.”

“I don't know what our plans for the weekend are, but I wouldn't miss that for the world,” John said, reaching for his phone. “What night are you talking about?”

“We were thinking tomorrow night but if that isn't good enough for everyone then we could do it Sunday as well.”

“Either day works for me. Bobby is supposed to be done with his project so he'll be around all weekend, I think. I certainly don't know of anything else he's supposed to be doing beyond spending time with me.”

Charles smiled as he sat down behind the desk. “The project is done? That's wonderful news. You two have been separated too much over the last few weeks.”

“Yeah, we really have,” John said, sighing. “I have a feeling that we're going to be spending a lot more time together in the coming weeks though. There's a lot of stuff going on and I just...I'm worried about how it's all going to affect him.”

“Is this about the interview you were telling Erik about?” Charles asked.

“Yes,” John said, nodding. “It's going to really make his parents angry and then there's this whole other thing that I don't really want to talk to anyone but him about, and I'm just worried. He's got an awful lot riding on this going the way he thinks it will.”

“I'm sure it will be fine,” Charles murmured, glancing up at the clock. “Now get out of here and go enjoy your time with him. One of us will text you with more concrete plans once we get everything set.”

“That sounds great, Charles,” John said, grabbing his jacket. “I'll see you then.”

John walked out of the office and back out front, finding Rogue sipping at a cup. “Ready to go, darlin'?”

“Yeah,” John said, walking around the counter and linking his arm with Rogue's. “Let's go.”

Once they were settled in the car outside, Rogue merged out into traffic and John decided it was time to talk. “Why on earth do you think you're not capable of loving your soulmate the way they deserve to be loved? You're amazing.”

Rogue sighed heavily. “You know as well as I do that part of soulbonds is the physical connection. And I can't have that with anybody.”

“Not everything about a soulbond is physical,” John pointed out. “The emotional connection is far more important and you can definitely have one of those.”

“I just...” Rogue sighed. “I wanted it to be blue.”

“Why did you want it to be blue?” John asked, incredulous. “Everyone prays for their soulmark to be red.”

“Yeah, well, I didn't,” Rogue said, glancing over at him when traffic came to a stop. “If it was blue then I wouldn't have to worry about the physical connection because there would be no romantic connotations. Instead, I'm gonna have to somehow find a soulmate when I can't touch anyone without killin' 'em, and they can't touch me without me killin' 'em either, and it's just somethin' that doesn't seem worth it. And if for some reason I end up findin' that soulmate, then I'm gonna have to explain to them that we can't kiss and we can't fuck, and that's gonna be a disappointment. And don't try tellin' me that it won't. I know it will.”

“You know who you sound like right now?” John said. “Me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don't think you're worth having a soulmate. That sounds exactly like me.”

Rogue shook her head. “It ain't like you.”

“Maybe not to the depths, but it is. But you're worth having a soulmate, Rogue. You really, really are.”

“Well, so are you and you don't believe that, so you're not one to talk.”

“I do believe that I'm worth having a soulmate,” John said quietly. “I just don't think I'm worth having Bobby as a soulmate.”

“Darlin', you're worth the world. You deserve him.”

“And you deserve whoever your soulmate is,” John countered back. “They will understand, Rogue. I refuse to believe that fate, destiny, and all that bullshit would have paired you up with someone who couldn't handle your mutation.”

“I hope you're right, Johnny, because I really don't want to be alone,” Rogue murmured. “But I still think I will be. How can I possibly find my soulmate?”

“It'll happen,” John said, smiling at her. “Have faith.”

“I'll try to, I promise,” Rogue said, turning her attention back to the road when traffic began to move. “Enough of this. Have you thought any more about our idea for your Christmas present for Bobby?”

John sighed but took the change of subject for what it was. “I don't know about that. I haven't done anything like that in a long time.”

“That doesn't mean you're not still good at it,” Rogue pointed out. “You're an extremely talented writer, Johnny. You were gonna make that your career. You still could, probably. You don't need a college degree to get somethin' published.”

“I haven't written a word in years, Rogue. I don't even have anything to write on. I can't afford a computer of any kind, and my hand really hurts if I handwrite for very long.”

“Well, tell Bobby that you're needin' a laptop then and I'm sure he'll get ya one.”

“I am not doing that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't like him flaunting his money at me,” John said seriously. “I mean, he's already trying to convince me that his money is just as much mine as it is his and I can't handle that.”

“Well, I can understand it bein' a little too soon for that, but I don't see what the problem in gettin' him to buy you a laptop is. He'd be more than willin' to do that.”

“I won't even let him pay for the food I cook him at my apartment,” John said softly. “The money is such a huge issue and I don't know how to possibly resolve it.”

“There's only one way to solve it, really. You've got to understand that he has a shit ton of money and that he wants to spend some of it on you.”

“I like independence.”

“That's not him tryin' to take away your independence,” Rogue said seriously. “If your situations were reversed, wouldn't you want to shower him in gifts, especially if you knew that he couldn't afford basic things like a computer?”

“A computer is a luxury.”

“A computer is a necessity anymore and you know it,” Rogue pointed out. “Everythin' is a computer nowadays.”

“My phone isn't.”

“Because you're using a cheap ass, old as shit flip phone,” Rogue said, laughing. “You really need one from this century.”

“Yeah, well, tell me where I'm going to get the thousand dollars I'd need for the new iPhone then.”

“Simple. Bobby.”

John groaned and tilted his head back against the seat. “I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I haven't earned that.”

“Oh for fuck's sake, Johnny. Not everythin' has to be earned.”

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you are allowed to accept gifts, idiot. And Bobby would love to give you gifts but he's holdin' back because he doesn't wanna upset you.”

John sucked in a deep breath. “Be honest with me for a minute. Exactly how much is he holding back when it comes to me?”

“I don't wanna answer that.”

“Too bad. Fucking answer it.”

Rogue sighed heavily. “A lot, darlin'. He's holdin' back a lot. And he's doin' it because he loves you and he wants you to feel comfortable in your relationship. He doesn't want you to feel like you used to. And I don't know what that's supposed to mean so don't think he's been tellin' me things that he shouldn't be.”

“I never should have fucking told him that,” John said, rubbing his hands over his face. “I never should have told him I didn't feel supported last time. It's just going to cause more problems than it should because of course, he can't fucking let it go.”

“This is why he's been tellin' me that he was a bad boyfriend before, I presume?”

“Yes,” John groaned. “And I have regretted saying that to him from the moment I did.”

“It's good that you did though,” Rogue said. “That means he's gonna work hard to do things differently this time.”

“And I need things to be different this time,” John breathed out. “You think he's really serious about that?”

“I know he is, darlin',” Rogue replied. “But I also know that for every bit that he gives, you need to give somethin' back.”

“And you think I'm not.”

“I just think that it sounds like you are makin' him change the way he does things for you but you aren't changin' anythin' that you do for him.”

John sat there quietly for several miles, and Rogue just let him, knowing that he needed to think things through. When he finally did speak, it was with a different understanding of things than he had before. “Does he feel that way or is that just your observation?”

“Well, he hasn't said anythin' about it to me, but I think you'd be foolish to think he hasn't noticed. He's dealin' with it though because he will do whatever he has to do to have you around. If that means sacrificin' the part of himself that wants to treat you like you're a king, then that means sacrificin' that.”

John let out a small laugh. “I don't deserve to be treated like a king.”

“Well, I disagree and I know for a fact that Bobby does as well. You deserve the fuckin' world, Johnny. And he would like to give it to you.”

John sucked in a deep breath. “So, you're saying that I should let him spend some money on me.”

“I think it would be a start. I mean, he's afraid of gettin' you a Christmas present because he doesn't want you to react negatively.”

“Fuck,” John muttered. “I don't want him to feel like that.”

“Then you know what you gotta do,” Rogue said.

“Talk to me about something else now, please,” John murmured. “I'll think about it but I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“Alright,” Rogue said. “I found the perfect thing to get Jubes. Can I tell you about that?”

“Sure,” John said, settling into the seat and closing his eyes. “Whatever you want.”

By the time that they arrived at Bobby's building, John's head was still spinning. But Rogue was right. If things stayed the way that they were, he was never going to get used to the money that Bobby considered to also be his. So after saying goodbye to her, he took the elevator up to the penthouse, and he thought about what he was going to say the entire way up there. 

Bobby was standing there when the elevator doors opened, ugly sweater on his torso and a silly reindeer antlers headband on his head. John cracked up laughing at the sight and walked over to him. “You look ridiculous.”

“I'm trying out looks for the holiday party,” Bobby said, grinning at him. “I thought you might be able to help me settle on something.”

“This is the sort of stuff that you wear to this holiday party?” John asked. “I assumed this was some swanky thing.”

“Fuck no,” Bobby said, shaking his head. “I have enough of that shit. This is just a bunch of silly fun. Ugly sweaters preferred over suits and ties or fancy dresses.”

“Well, that will certainly make being at this thing more tolerable,” John said, pulling Bobby into a kiss. “So I suppose I should be coming up with something to wear to this thing too, shouldn't I?”

“You don't have to wear anything more than a t-shirt and jeans,” Bobby said quickly. “I don't want you to spend money you don't have on something you'll only wear once.”

John took a deep breath. “What about if I let you buy it?”

Bobby's eyes widened. “What?”

John took another deep breath. “The only way I'm ever going to get comfortable with all of this is if I let it happen. So, I wanted to talk to you about borrowing some money so I can buy some Christmas presents and other things, because if I don't, then no one is getting anything.”

Bobby stared at him for a moment. “You wouldn't have to borrow it, Johnny. You can just use it. There's no need to pay me back.”

“I know,” John said. “I just...it will work better for me at the moment to say that I'm borrowing it, okay? I know that you won't let me repay it if I tried, but if I can just tell myself that I'm borrowing it, it will at least be a start.”

“Then we'll say you're borrowing some money,” Bobby said, stepping closer to him and pulling John into a deep kiss. “Stay here.”

John watched as Bobby walked away and took his jacket off, slinging it over the back of a chair and running his hands through his hair. He tried to remind himself that he was doing the right thing before turning his attention back to Bobby as he walked back into the room. He walked up to John and held out an envelope. “Here.”

John looked down at it. “And what is this?”

“It's everything you need to access some of the money. All it requires is your signature on that paperwork,” Bobby said as John took the envelope. “And you can spend whatever you need. Don't worry about how much it is.”

John opened the envelope and pulled out the paperwork, jumping when a card dropped to the ground. He bent and picked it up, turning it over to see a black label credit card with his name on it. He swallowed hard before looking up at Bobby. “When did you do this?”

“When you moved into the new apartment,” Bobby said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I thought you'd be able to use it to buy the new furniture and stuff that we'd talked about but then you refused my help for it beyond the bed, so I figured I'd just hold onto it until you were ready.”

John swallowed hard. “Really?”

“I didn't want to force it upon you, Johnny,” Bobby said softly. “I don't want to force anything on you.”

“You're not,” John breathed out. “You're really not. You've been amazing so far.”

“Then I will continue to do what I'm doing,” Bobby said, smiling at him when he looked up. “I just don't want to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

John let out a small laugh. “Everything makes me uncomfortable, baby. That's got nothing to do with you.”

“But it's getting better, right?”

“Yeah, it's starting to,” John said, walking over to his jacket and setting the envelope on top of it. “But I'm going to have to come to terms with the fact that I'm jumping in at the deep end when I'm not sure I can swim, right? I mean, there's going to be pictures of us from college in a magazine next week.”

Bobby pulled John close when he came back over to him. “It's okay, Johnny. It's all going to be okay.”

“I know,” John said softly. “At the end of the day, we're going to have each other, no matter what happens with anyone or anything else. That makes everything worthwhile.”

“Yep,” Bobby said, grinning at him. “And you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.”

“I'm trying,” John murmured. “I'm really trying.”

“I know you are,” Bobby said, kissing him softly. “And I am so proud of you.”

John let out a small laugh. “Nothing to be proud of.”

“There's everything to be proud of,” Bobby said, letting go of him. “Come on. The rest of my options are in the bedroom. Maybe you'll even see one you want to wear and then we can coordinate.”

“I am not coordinating our outfits,” John said seriously.

“Well, maybe there will be one that you like anyway,” Bobby said as he disappeared down the hallway. “And then maybe you can fuck me while we wear the silly headbands I have since we didn't get to do that on Halloween.”

John smiled. “Do you still have the one with all the bells on it? The one that makes noise while I'm fucking you?”

“You better believe I do! Come see!”

John took a deep breath and started walking towards the bedroom.

Maybe Bobby did love him. That was the only explanation he could come up with for why Bobby had approached the interview in the way that he did. The only explanation for why he now had a black label credit card with his name on it. 

Maybe.


	8. Chapter 8

**December 21st**

Bobby sighed when his phone started to ring, murmuring a brief apology to everyone before heading out of the room to answer it. He glanced at the screen before doing so, and the moment he saw Rogue's name there, he knew that whatever it was he was about to hear wasn't going to be good. “What is it?”

“It hit the internet,” Rogue said, and it took Bobby a moment to realize what she meant.

“The reporter said that it wasn't going to go up on the website until after Christmas,” Bobby said seriously. “What happened?”

“What happened was that they had too good of a story to wait,” Rogue said, and Bobby could hear typing in the background. “I've been in communication with the reporter and he said that it was his editor's call and there was nothin' he could do about it. He at least took the time to warn us that it was comin' out, but by the time I got the email, it already had.”

“Fuck,” Bobby breathed out, glancing behind him when he heard the group burst into laughter. “Have you heard anything from them yet?”

“Not a motherfuckin' thing,” Rogue said. “But Ronny did call me and ask if you were still at the office. I told him that the project is done and that you're at a party with Johnny. He wants you to call him on the way home.”

“I'll call him when I get a chance to. Taking care of Johnny is going to be more important.” Bobby sighed heavily. “Fuck, why did this have to happen now? I told him he has more time to prepare for this.”

“You know how newspapers and magazines work, darlin'. They tell ya one thing and they do another when it's a great story. And you and Johnny bein' soulmates is a really great story for them to have, especially when you went into as much detail as ya did.”

“Send me the direct link?”

“Already did. Should be in your inbox.”

“I'll look at it in a minute then. Can you call Jubes and Piotr and let them know it hit? They might be hit up for information now since they were mentioned.”

“I'll call Jubes but you should call Piotr yourself.”

Bobby just shook his head. “You need to start talking to him again, Rogue.”

“Until he gets his head outta his ass and treats Johnny better, then I'm not gonna be doin' that.”

“There's a good reason for why he's being so protective of me,” Bobby sighed. “And I'll tell you about it soon but not at the moment. It's not something to be discussed while I'm here.”

“Then I look forward to hearin' it,” Rogue said, pausing. “Try to break this news to Johnny gently, would ya? I'd say wait until after your party but I'm not sure that you're gonna have an opportunity to do that before your phone starts blowin' up. You know that everyone ya know is gonna want to know what's goin' on with this article.”

“Fuck, I know,” Bobby groaned. “Which is precisely why this is going on silent as soon as we're done talking. I'll call you on the drive home and you can update us on what's happened.”

“Sounds good to me, darlin'. I'll keep a lookout for any communication from your parents but I'm willin' to bet that you're not gonna hear from them tonight.”

“I think you're probably right about that,” Bobby said, sighing heavily. “Ask Ronny to let you know if they say anything please.”

“Already done it, darlin'. You just take care of Johnny. Let me take care of all the rest.”

“Including calling Piotr,” Bobby said, making Rogue sigh.

“Fine, I'll fuckin' talk to the douchebag.”

“That douchebag is one of your best friends.”

“Not when he's actin' like this, he ain't,” Rogue said. “Now go take care of Johnny. Let me know if you need anythin' before you call on the way home.”

“I will. Thank you, Rogue.”

“Just doin' my job as both your assistant and your friend, darlin',” Rogue said before hanging up. 

Bobby brought the phone down from his ear and immediately went to his inbox, finding the link to the story waiting for him. He rolled his eyes at the salacious headline before beginning to read. He could tell that they'd held quite a bit back for the actual magazine, or maybe just for more headlines later that week, but there were him and John, arms wrapped around each other from their freshman year of college, staring back at him from the website of _People_ magazine. As he stared at the picture, he couldn't help but think that he'd made a terrible mistake.

“Hey.”

Bobby jumped and John laughed from behind him, shaking his head when Bobby turned to look at him. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“I know I did,” John said, walking over to him and plucking the phone from his hands. “You are not supposed to be using this tonight. In fact, I believe I said it was supposed to be on silent.”

“I know, I know, but trust me, it's far more important right now that Rogue's phone call got through,” Bobby said, taking a deep breath. “The magazine posted some of the interview on their website.”

John felt his throat constrict and he dropped his gaze down to the phone in his hands, staring at the same photo of them that Bobby had been staring at moments earlier. It was surrounded by text that he didn't dare read yet and one of those annoying flashing ads at the bottom, and the moment he saw it, he was suddenly struck by what exactly it was that Bobby had done. That he had given Bobby permission to do. 

Bobby peered at him with concern as John scrolled up and down the article, taking in a shuddering breath every time a new photo popped up. It wasn't like he hadn't seen the photographs before, and it wasn't like he hadn't given approval on which ones Bobby had chosen to use. But somehow the idea that he'd be seeing them in a scenario like this hadn't really hit him until just that moment. “Fuck.”

“It's going to be okay,” Bobby said softly, taking the phone back from John and clicking it off before sliding it back into his pocket. “Trust me, alright? It's going to be okay.”

John just stared at Bobby so Bobby pulled him into his arms and held him as close as he could as John buried his face in his neck. “They were supposed to wait.”

“I know they were, but as Rogue just reminded me, you can't trust these publications to sit on a good story for long, and this is just too good of an exclusive for them,” Bobby said, running a comforting hand up and down John's back. “From what I read so far, they haven't put much of anything into that article. They're probably saving a lot for the magazine or for other articles that will be published later this week.”

“Fuck,” John murmured into his skin. “I don't know if I can handle this.”

“You can,” Bobby soothed. “And I'll be right here by your side throughout it all.”

John stayed silent so Bobby kept softly talking. “There is absolutely nothing that can be said over the next few days by anyone on the fucking planet that is going to change the way I feel about you. I love you. I love you so, so much. And now the world knows that you belong to me and I belong to you. This is how it's supposed to be, Johnny. You and me against the world, remember?”

John let out a small laugh. “That was a joke.”

“Well, now it's not a joke. Now it's the truth.”

John sucked in another deep breath. “Have you heard from them yet?”

“No,” Bobby murmured. “Rogue is monitoring that for me. Ronny did call her, however, to check on whether I was still at the office. She told him that I'm here with you and that I'll call him later. He's going to be a massive support for us both over the next few days.”

“He's been very nice to me on the phone,” John mumbled. “I suppose he'll probably call me again.”

“He'll call us again,” Bobby soothed. “I'm not letting you out of my sight for a while.”

“You're going to have to go to work.”

“I'm taking off until early January. Rogue's already put the notices in everyone's calendars.”

“I'm going to have to go to work.”

“Actually, I was going to let Erik and Charles tell you that you've got the next two weeks off, but I guess they haven't done it yet.”

John pulled back at that, giving Bobby a look. “What?”

“I asked them if they would let you have the rest of the year off,” Bobby said sheepishly. “We have had such little time together lately that I thought it would be nice to have a stretch of days together where I didn't have to worry about work and you didn't have to worry about work either.”

“And how am I supposed to afford my rent then?” John asked, glaring at him. “How am I supposed to afford groceries? I need to work for things like that.”

“As we have previously discussed, if you don't have enough money to make the portion of the rent that we have agreed that you will pay then I will pay the rest. And I can afford some groceries for you too.”

John stared at him for a moment before burying his face in Bobby's neck again. “Fine.”

Bobby inwardly sighed with relief when John didn't put up a fight. “I didn't do this to try and take away your independence, which I know is what you're thinking right now. I did this to give us a chance to deal with this away from the prying eyes of the world. You know that if you went into the coffee shop right now that everyone that comes up to the counter is going to know who you are almost instantly. You need to be ready to face that.”

“I'm never going to be ready to face that,” John murmured, taking a couple of deep breaths before pressing a kiss to Bobby's skin and pulling back. “But we've gone off a cliff now, so I have no choice but to hope for a soft landing.”

“No one is going to have a problem with this, Johnny,” Bobby said, smiling softly. “Except for the lousy motherfucker that is my father, and my mother because she cannot form a thought independent of my father's. They're going to have a massive problem with this.”

John swallowed hard as something hit him. “What if my parents say something to the press?”

Bobby closed his eyes for a moment. “Then we'll deal with that as it happens. It's not something that needs to be worried about right now.”

“But if they...” John stopped and shook his head. “Right. Not something to think about at the moment.”

“Boys?” came Erik's voice, and they turned to see him appear in the doorway. “Is everything alright?”

John looked back at Bobby for a moment, and Bobby nodded, so John took a deep breath. “They put some of the interview on the internet.”

Erik walked into the room fully and came to a stop next to John, wrapping his arms around him. “I thought they were supposed to wait.”

“They were,” Bobby said. “But it's too good of a story to sit on.”

“I suppose you're right about that,” Erik said, looking over at him. “Peter's mother is a reporter for a newspaper in D.C. now and she used to tell me all the time about how hard it is to sit on a good story.”

“They hardly ever do anymore, especially when it's something related to the Drakes.”

“I suppose you're right about that, Bobby,” Erik said, squeezing John tighter. “Are you okay, Johnny?”

“As much as I'm going to be at the moment,” John said, taking a deep breath and breaking the embrace. “I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't even want to tell anyone else. I just want to go enjoy the rest of dinner.”

“Are you sure?” Bobby asked, and John nodded. 

“I need this to be a normal night because it's probably the last normal night I'm ever going to get.”

Bobby went to speak but Peter came running into the room, jumping up and down in front of Erik. “Daddy, can I open presents now? Oh, please, please, please.”

“I'll tell you what you can open,” John said, turning and picking him up. “You can open the present I brought you. But only that one.”

Peter grinned at him. “Okay, okay!”

“Then let's go get it,” John said, giving Bobby a tentative smile as he walked out of the room with Peter.

Erik turned to Bobby and hugged him. “You two need anything, you let me and Charles know, okay? We will do anything we can to help the two of you out.”

“Thank you, Erik,” Bobby said as he pulled back. “We really appreciate that.”

“Do you need to leave or...”

“No,” Bobby said, shaking his head. “I'm here until the end of the evening.”

“Then let's go back in there before Peter opens that present,” Erik said, smiling. “He's never gotten a present from John before so he's very excited. Then again, he's six-years-old. He's always going to be excited about a present.”

Bobby laughed. “I think I was pretty excited about presents when I was six-years-old too.”

“I keep trying to tell him that presents won't be arriving until Santa comes, and then here John shows up tonight with that big box,” Erik said, shaking his head. “Now I'm going to hear about nothing but presents until Christmas.”

Bobby laughed as they headed back out to join everyone else. “Well, when he does, just blame it on Johnny.”

“Oh, I will. Trust me on that one.”

Bobby sat down next to John on the sofa just as Peter tore into the wrapping paper, but he paid little attention to the excitement that Peter was expressing at the sight of the Lego set. Instead, his focus was on John, and he crept his hand across the space between them and set it on John's knee, making John turn and look at him. He could tell by the look in his eyes that John was scared to death, but John turned his attention back to Peter and so Bobby did the same.

It was hard to concentrate on the rest of the night though. His concern for John was growing at every laugh that sounded hollow, every smile that seemed forced. He knew that everyone else had picked up on it, but he could tell that Erik had told Charles and then a quiet word had spread to let everyone know but also know not to mention it. By the time they were leaving, Bobby had convinced himself that the interview was the biggest mistake he'd ever made.

John let himself get wrapped up in hugs as everyone left, and then Charles was in front of him with that look of concern that he'd seen so much over the years, and he broke. Charles pulled him into his arms and John cried into his shoulder, making Charles hold him closer. Charles shook his head when Bobby and Erik came back into the room, stopping Bobby before he could say a thing. 

“It's okay, Johnny,” Charles soothed. “It's all going to be okay.”

“I can't handle this,” John cried.

“Yes, you can,” Charles said strongly. “You know why you can?”

“Why?”

“Because you are the strongest person I've ever met, John Allerdyce. Everything that you have ever gone through has made you strong, stronger than I think you even know. And yes, you're venturing into unknown territory now, but you have the support of a soulmate who loves you more than anything and you have all of us too. We love you more than anything, Johnny, and we will do whatever it is we have to do to help you realize that you can handle this. I promise.”

John didn't say anything but Charles turned and brushed a kiss along his head. “I love you like you're my son, John. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and I believe there is nothing you cannot handle.”

John slowly brought his emotions back under control and pulled back, staring at Charles through red eyes. “You love me like a son?”

“We both do,” Erik said, drawing John's attention over to where he was standing with Bobby. “And anything you need us to do, we will. That's what families do.”

John stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Bobby said something about time off.”

“You take as long as you need, okay?” Charles said, smiling at him. “Don't worry about the shop. Worry about yourself.”

“But my shifts...”

“Are already covered for the next two weeks, and they can be covered for as long as they need to be,” Charles said. “So don't worry about that.”

John nodded and Bobby walked over to him, holding out his coat. “Ready to go home, Johnny?”

John took the coat and pulled it on, running his hands over his face. “The next few days are going to be really difficult.”

“Any time you need to talk to us, you call,” Erik said, coming up next to Charles. “Even if we can do nothing more than put Peter on the phone for a while and you can talk to him about that Lego set. He's over the moon about that, by the way. I already had to take it away from him or else he would have stayed up all night trying to put it together.”

John smiled. “I wasn't sure if he was going to like it or not.”

“I think you underestimate how much we've had to watch that television show then,” Erik laughed. “You picked the right thing, trust me.”

John nodded and Bobby reached for his hand, squeezing it. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” John said. “Thank you so much for having everyone over. I really needed this tonight.”

“We'll have to do it again soon,” Charles said. “It's a little ludicrous that we only ever do this for the holidays. We need to do it more often.”

“I agree with that,” Erik said, shaking his head when he heard Peter call out. “You guys get home safe. I need to go deal with my son.”

Charles sighed and followed after him. “I need to go make sure he takes it easy on him. Just shut the door behind you, okay? I'll lock it later.”

“We will,” John called out, zipping up his coat and reaching for his gloves. “Can we go to my place please?”

“I think that it might be better if we go to the penthouse,” Bobby said as John opened the door. “It's more secure and people might figure out where you live and start buzzing the apartment at all hours.”

“I just want to get some things,” John said as they walked out of the house. “I mean, if I'm going to be spending the next two weeks with you, then that means I'm going to be spending the next two weeks at the penthouse, and therefore I'm going to need some things.”

“We can get anything you need brought to the penthouse, Johnny.”

“We cannot get your Christmas present brought to the penthouse,” John said as they approached the car. “So I need to go get that at the very least. Plus what I'm wearing to your ridiculous party tomorrow night is there.”

“I'll cancel the fucking party,” Bobby said, walking over to the driver's side. “It's not important.”

John waited until they were inside the car and Bobby had started it up before responding. “No, you should have the party. After all, we promised that this meant that we wouldn't hide. We shouldn't be hiding just because it's now out there.”

Bobby turned to look at him. “You sure?”

“I'm sure,” John said, nodding. “These are the sorts of things that I need to get used to, and I'm not going to get used to them if I hide away from everything. So, I don't know who all is going to be at this party but I'm going to wear that ugly sweater and put that silly headband on and act like I belong there.”

“You do belong there,” Bobby said. “I can't wait for you to believe that.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I'm starting to,” John murmured, slumping down in his seat and closing his eyes. “Call Rogue like you're supposed to and wake me up when we get to my apartment.”

Bobby sat there for a moment before merging the car out onto the street. “I will, I promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

**December 22nd**

When ten o'clock hit and people began to leave the party, John couldn't help but sigh with relief. He had on his ugly sweater and his silly headband, and while that made him blend in with everyone else at the party, all he could think about was how much he stood out and didn't belong there. Bobby had kept close to him for most of the night, circulating the room and introducing John to people that John had no business meeting. The guy who managed all of Bobby's money and who wanted to talk about nothing more than Bobby investing in a company that was about to have an initial stock sale. The real estate agent who'd looked John up and down before turning to Bobby and starting up a discussion about buying an apartment in a brand new building. The guy that hadn't even let Bobby get his introduction out before he was trying to get him to buy John a new Aston Martin. The co-workers that John could tell were uncomfortable in his presence, though he wasn't sure if that was out of disapproval or not. On and on and on. 

The only person John had met that night that he was somewhat entertained by was the artist who had become friendly with Bobby. When the woman said that they'd met when Bobby's parents had commissioned a portrait of Bobby, John barely bit back his laugh. That John found fucking hysterical.

As more and more people filed into the elevator, John stood there next to Bobby and gave weak smiles as Bobby wished them goodnight and Merry Christmas. Bobby's arm was comfortable around his waist and that was the only comfortable thing about the entire night. As soon as the last group left, John leaned up against the wall and slid down it, ripping the headband off his head. 

He could not do things like this. That was now incredibly obvious.

“Johnny?” Bobby asked, watching as John gasped for air. “Johnny, are you alright?”

John tried to talk but couldn't, trying desperately to breathe.

Bobby crouched down in front of him with worry in his eyes. “Johnny, take a deep breath. It's okay, whatever it is.”

“He's havin' a panic attack,” came a voice that John didn't recognize, and he looked up to see someone he didn't know standing next to Rogue, both of them peering down at him with concern.

Great, now he was embarrassing Bobby this way too.

Bobby got on his knees and pulled John into his arms, running soothing cool hands down his back as John closed his eyes and tried to find a way to breathe. “It's okay, Johnny. It's okay. The party's over. Everyone's gone, I promise.”

John gasped as his lungs finally filled with air and he leaned further into Bobby, burying his head in Bobby's neck as his chest heaved. “No, they're not,” he finally got out, and he could feel Bobby's confusion.

“I don't think Johnny met Remy earlier,” Rogue said, crouching down next to them. “It's alright, Johnny.”

“Yeah, we didn't meet,” Remy said, looking at Bobby as John clung to him. “I haven't had a chance to talk to you all night, Mr. Drake.”

“You're standing in my house right now, Remy. Call me Bobby,” he said, shifting around so he was sitting with his back up against the wall. “And you're right, we didn't. I'm sorry, Johnny. I should have introduced you earlier.”

When John didn't move, Bobby brushed a kiss to his temple. “Remy is the lawyer that is investigating my grandfather's will for me,” he explained. “He lives twenty floors down.”

John vaguely remembered Bobby mentioning that now that he'd heard the guy's name, but still, he was embarrassing Bobby in front of his lawyer now and that made it even worse.

“Do you want me to get him some water or somethin'?” Rogue asked. “I know that always helps Jubes after she's had a panic attack.”

Bobby nodded and Rogue stood up, heading towards the kitchen. “I need to talk to you before you leave, Remy. I need to change the way we communicate. I don't want it going through the office.”

“Well, if what you think your father is doin' is true, I don't blame ya for that,” Remy said, looking up as Rogue came walking back. “Just tell me how to do it and I'll be glad to.”

“I want you to do everything through Rogue,” Bobby said as she set the glass of water down next to them. “Her phone, her email, her address. Everything.”

“I can do that,” Remy said, smiling at Rogue when she stood up. “All my work stuff is in my apartment, so if you don't mind stoppin' by there before you leave tonight, I can get all that information from ya and get everythin' changed.”

“I can do that,” Rogue said.

“Go now,” Bobby said, looking up at her. “And then go home.”

“But Johnny...”

“Will handle this better if you're not around, I think,” Bobby said, feeling John nod against him. “Call me in the morning, okay?”

“I can do that,” Rogue said, walking over to gather her purse before heading back to the elevator and calling it. “Text me later and let me know how Johnny is, alright?”

“I will, I promise,” Bobby said as the elevator arrived. 

“After you, my lady,” Remy said as the doors opened. “I'll be in touch, Mr. Drake.”

“It's Bobby,” he said again as they stepped into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed and Bobby could hear it descending, he turned his attention fully to John. “Johnny, it's okay. They're all gone now. I promise.”

John sat there for a few more moments before pulling back and staring at Bobby with wild eyes. Bobby reached for the glass of water and handed it to him, watching as John drank half of it down in one sip. “You okay now?”

John drank the other half of the water before slumping down into Bobby's side. “I'm sorry,” he murmured. 

“What are you sorry for?” Bobby asked, wrapping his arm around John's shoulders and pulling him closer. “There's nothing to be sorry for.”

“I can't do things like this,” John said quietly. “I just can't.”

“Hey,” Bobby said, tilting John's head up so he was looking at him. “You did great tonight.”

“Don't lie to me,” John said, laughing slightly. “Tonight was a disaster.”

“No, it really wasn't,” Bobby said, tangling their fingers together. “Look, I won't lie. Some people aren't exactly approving of you and of us, and trust me, I picked up on who those people were and they will never be invited to another fucking thing I do ever. I have no patience or tolerance for those who show intolerance. But everyone else loved you, Johnny. You did great.”

“Bobby, don't fucking lie to me.”

“I'm not!” Bobby exclaimed. “For your first one of these things, I thought you did amazingly well. I thought you handled it fantastically.”

“Sure I did,” John mumbled. “That's why I had a panic attack once everyone left.”

“Hey,” Bobby said, angling their lips together. “You were under a ton of pressure tonight. It would have been hard enough for you to do this without things hitting the internet last night, but the pressure was even higher tonight because of it. And you did wonderfully.”

John forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, I do,” Bobby said, kissing him again. “Next time will be even better.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah, I have parties like this often.”

“Great,” John breathed out, closing his eyes. “The next one will probably kill me.”

“The next one will be easier,” Bobby stressed. “You will know what to expect, most of the people at it won't be meeting you for the first time, everyone will be more comfortable with our relationship, and you won't be as uncomfortable, hopefully.”

“I'm always going to be uncomfortable, baby,” John breathed out. “I can't imagine ever being comfortable with anything.”

“You're comfortable with me though, right?”

John looked up at him and saw the genuine question on Bobby's face, so he decided to answer honestly. “I'm getting there. But there's a lot of times when I'm not. We are from two entirely different planets, baby. I don't see how we're ever going to be on the same one.”

Bobby brought his hand up to caress the side of John's face. “We will be. And I'm not expecting you to just come over to my planet. We'll find a new one that suits both of us.”

John nuzzled Bobby's hand, making him smile. “A planet of our own, hm?”

“I will never expect you to do all of the things that I do as a Drake, Johnny,” Bobby said seriously. “But you will learn to handle the things that you do better. It's a matter of experience. I was scared shitless the first time I had to do something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Bobby murmured, running his fingers through John's hair. “You did better than I did my first time, that's for sure.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

“I knocked a glass of red wine down the front of a very important person's wife's white dress,” Bobby said, laughing. “I think my father wanted to murder me on the spot. My grandfather stepped in and took care of it.”

“How so?”

“I'm pretty sure he paid for a new dress for her,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “But once the party was over, he came over to me and told me that I did alright. Mistakes happen and you learn from them. But you didn't make any mistakes tonight, Johnny. You did great.”

“I have nothing to say to these people. Absolutely nothing. I just stood there and let you do all the talking.”

“And by the time the next one of these comes around, you'll have something to talk to them about, I'm sure of it.”

“What, your money? It seemed like the only thing that anyone wanted to talk about was what you could invest in or what you could buy from them.”

Bobby sighed heavily. “A lot of the people I invite to these things are people that are used to me spending or investing a lot of money in a lot of different things. That's why that's what they talk about. They think they can sell me on using their services to spend a lot of money and therefore make them more money. That's all the conversations we ever have.”

“Then why do you invite them?”

“What?”

“Wouldn't you enjoy this more if you threw a holiday party for your friends instead of all these people? I mean, you do enough of this society shit. And don't try telling me that tonight wasn't that. We might all have been wearing ugly sweaters, but this was a fucking society party.”

“I know it was,” Bobby said, running his fingers through John's hair again. “But I have to do things like this, Johnny.”

“No, you really don't,” John said. “If all these people who come to these things are here to do is sell you stuff, then you don't need them here. There is no point to it. If you want to buy something, you know where to go to do so. You don't need some asshole in a blue and green sweater with a Christmas tree on the front of it try to sell you an Aston Martin.”

“I think he was quite disappointed to hear that you don't drive,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “But I hear what you're saying. I was just taught that this is what Drakes do.”

“Yeah, well, you're not your asshole father,” John pointed out. “You have the chance to do what you want to do. At the office, you might have to go along with his whims, but in your own home, you can do whatever the fuck you want. He doesn't control what goes on here.”

Bobby sat there for a moment. “You're right.”

“I know I am,” John said. “I would just think that you'd want to live the life you want to live all the time. You've said to me that you wish you could do that since the night we met. Why don't you just do it?”

“I'm trying to,” Bobby said softly. “That's what the interview was. That was me living the way I wanted to live. That was me telling the world the truth for once. I'm so sick of hiding and lying for them.”

“Then why are you holding onto their ideas of what being a Drake means?”

Bobby smiled at him. “Because I didn't have a soulmate around here kicking my ass and making me realize that I don't have to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bobby said, running his fingers down the side of John's face. “Next year, I promise that the holiday party will be for friends only. And not just mine. I mean everyone from the coffee shop too.”

John leaned forward and pressed their lips together. “I think you'll find that you will enjoy it more.”

“I think you're probably right about that,” Bobby murmured against his lips. “But I also think that the next society thing that we go to will go easier for you.”

John collapsed back against him. “I'm going to have to go to another one of these?”

“You're my soulmate, Johnny. That means you're my plus one for life. It's not like before when no one knew we were in a relationship. Everyone knows now. They'll be expecting you there with me. It will be entirely too suspicious if you aren't. And after the interview, it'll probably cause all kinds of headlines about how we've split.”

John nodded against him. “I know you're right. I do.”

“But?”

“But there is this huge part of me that is just screaming about how I don't belong at things like this, and then that just leads me down a cavalcade of thoughts that ends with me thinking that I'm not worth half of your soul. Because I'm not.”

Bobby pulled them both up and kissed John deeply. “Listen to me, John Allerdyce. You are worth the motherfucking universe.”

John swallowed hard at the look in Bobby's eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Bobby said, kissing him again. “And I will tell you that every day for the rest of our lives if necessary.”

John let Bobby kiss him again. “You really think you're going to want to put up with me for the rest of your life?”

“I'm going to want you every second of every day for the rest of my life, Johnny. I love you entirely too much to even think otherwise.”

John let his eyes close as he tried to convince himself that what Bobby was saying was the truth. When he opened them again, he took a good look at Bobby and his reindeer antlers and smiled. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Johnny,” Bobby said, smiling back. “Tired?”

“A little.”

“Too tired for some fun?”

“Fun?”

Bobby picked up the headband that John had taken off, putting it back on his head and running his hands over the elf hat. “We're already wearing the headbands. All we'd need to do is take off our clothes.”

John laughed. “How many times are we going to fuck with these headbands on before Christmas?”

“As many times as we can,” Bobby said, leaning forward to kiss John hard. “You certainly weren't complaining about doing this the other night.”

“Did I say I was complaining?” John said, shaking his head. “You really honestly think I'm ever going to complain about getting to fuck you?”

“You better not,” Bobby said, standing up and holding out a hand to John. “Come on. Let's go enjoy the rest of the night.”

John let Bobby pull him up off the floor and reached up, pulling the elf headband off his head and grabbing onto the antlers from Bobby's. “I'm wearing this one. You're wearing the bells.”

Bobby felt a shiver go down his spine. “You always fuck me really hard when I wear the bells one.”

“I know I do,” John said, putting the antlers on his head. “I like the sound of the jingling bells. Don't you?”

“I hardly ever hear them,” Bobby said, laughing. “I'm usually far more concentrated on your cock slamming into my prostate.”

“Well, maybe I'll just have to draw this out so you can hear the bells then,” John said, heading in the direction of the bedroom. “Nice and slow so you can hear them at first, and then hard as fuck so I can enjoy them while you're incoherent.”

“Whatever you want to do, Johnny, I'm down for so long as you fuck me.”

“Oh, don't worry, I'm going to fuck you,” John called out. “You won't remember your name by the time I'm done with you tonight.”

Bobby just grinned and started walking after him.


	10. Chapter 10

**December 24th**

Bobby's phone kept ringing.

Bobby had accidentally left it behind when he left, heading over to the office so he could hand out Christmas bonuses to his employees for all their hard work over the course of the year. And at first, John had ignored it. He just assumed that whoever it was that was calling would leave Bobby a voicemail and then he could deal with it when he got back. It was a ringtone that he'd never heard before, and Bobby's phone was programmed with specific ringtones for specific people, and so he'd thought it best for him to just not touch it.

But then it kept ringing. Over and over and over.

So he finally walked over to it, fully intending to figure out how to put it on silent, when the name on the screen that indicated who was calling had stopped him dead in his tracks.

Mom.

He stood there staring at it for several minutes as it would ring and ring and ring and then stop, only to repeat the pattern a few seconds later. Bobby had left about a half an hour earlier, so there was no way that he was going to be back soon, and now John had to deal with the fact that Madeline Drake was calling him and he had no way to contact Bobby and tell him that.

Then, suddenly, something occurred to him, and he jogged into the bedroom and grabbed his phone. He scrolled through his contacts as quickly as possible, found Rogue's number, and called. He swallowed hard as he waited for Rogue to pick up, listening to that ringtone blare out yet again, knowing that whatever it was Madeline had to say, it probably wasn't going to be good.

“Hi, Johnny.”

“Bobby left his phone here,” John started.

“Oh, darlin', don't worry about that. He's not gonna need it for what he's doin' today.”

“His mother keeps calling,” John finished, and he could hear someone talking in the background. “Where are you?”

“I'm in a train station,” Rogue said, sucking in a deep breath. “Madeline is callin'?”

“It's been ringing for a good twenty minutes, over and over and over, and I went to go put it on silent and the screen says Mom. So yes, she is.” John forced himself to take a deep breath. “I have no way to tell him about this because he left the phone here.”

“I'm on it,” Rogue said, and John breathed a sigh of relief. “I'll be at the office before Bobby will get there. I'll let him know what's goin' on. In the meantime, silence the phone, okay? You don't need to be listenin' to that.”

“I'm terrified,” John murmured. “She could be calling to say absolutely anything, Rogue. And I just know that whatever it is won't be good.”

“I think you're probably right about that, darlin', but don't sit there and dwell on it, alright? It's gonna be what it's gonna be, and you and Bobby will handle it.”

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “He shouldn't have done the interview.”

“Johnny, listen to me. Bobby knew what he was doin' when he did that interview. He knew what they might take away from him. And he did it anyway because he loves ya. Whatever happens from this moment on is somethin' that you two are gonna face together because that's the way he wants it. He's doin' everythin' he can do to make your life better, not worse.”

“I hear what you're saying, I really do, but Rogue, we're talking billions upon billions of dollars that should be his. I'm not worth giving that up for.”

“You're worth the world, darlin'. Bobby doesn't need billions of dollars when he's got you.”

John swallowed hard. “I wish I believed that.”

“You will someday,” Rogue said. “Now, I've gotta get on a train, but I'll make sure he's home as soon as possible, alright?”

“Thank you,” John said, bringing the phone down when he heard the click. He stared at where Bobby's phone was for a couple of moments, listened to it ring yet again, and then walked over to the counter, picked it up, and put it on silent. He was not going to think about this anymore.

But by the time that Bobby walked back into the penthouse a couple of hours later, John's nerves were completely frayed. He might have gotten the ringtone to be silent, but he'd heard the buzzing from the phone vibrating against the counter every time it rang. If he didn't know that Bobby's phone was so important, he would have thrown it out the window just to make it stop.

Bobby found John sitting across from the kitchen counter, back to one of the windows. “Johnny?”

“She keeps calling,” John said hoarsely. “Make it stop.”

Bobby sighed and slung his messenger bag down, reaching for the phone and picking it up. “Mother.”

“Robert, it is so lovely to hear your voice,” Madeline said, and Bobby immediately knew that she was going to pretend that everything was fine. “Are you sure I can't convince you to come down for Christmas? We all miss you terribly.”

“You don't want me there and you know it,” Bobby said, walking over to where John was and sitting down, tangling their fingers together. “So why don't you get to the point of your call?”

“I don't know how you could think that I wouldn't want my son here for the holidays,” Madeline said. “This is the one time of the year when we get all of the family together. It's just not the same without you here. Will you please reconsider?”

“And is John included in these plans of yours or am I supposed to leave him here?” Madeline was silent and that answered all of Bobby's questions. “Mother, while I appreciate that you're trying to pretend that everything is fine, how about we really get to the point of your call?”

“That is not the interview you were instructed to give,” Madeline said, her voice venomous.

“I told you on several occasions that I was not going to give the interview you instructed me to give,” Bobby said, squeezing John's fingers. “You made me give an interview, so I gave the interview that I wanted to give.”

“This is not the end of this,” Madeline said, and then she hung up the phone.

Bobby sighed and tossed the phone to the floor. “She's furious.”

“I feel like I'm costing you your family,” John said softly. “I'm going to cost you your inheritance too. I'm not worth all of this.”

Bobby reached out and pulled John into a deep kiss. “You're worth all of it. All I need is you, Johnny. I don't need them. I don't need the money. I just need you.”

“You can't mean that,” John whispered.

“I mean every word of it,” Bobby said as his phone started buzzing again. He picked it up and declined the call before turning it completely off. “The only person I want to hear from right now is you. Everyone else can fuck off.”

John smiled and leaned into Bobby's side, putting his head on his shoulder. “Can we save the conversation about your mother for later?”

“Whatever you want to do, Johnny,” Bobby said, taking a deep breath. “It is going to be nice to just spend today and tomorrow with you.”

“I know it is. I was thinking about it earlier. You know what else I was thinking about?”

“What?”

“We've never spent Christmas together before. You were always in Boston and I was at my parents'. We've never even spoken to each other on Christmas Day before.”

Bobby sighed after a moment. “Yeah, I guess you're right. That hadn't even occurred to me.”

“So since you're not in Boston and I'm not at my parents', I thought maybe we should make some Christmas traditions of our own,” John said. “We should make the most of this. And maybe if we do that then you will want to be here instead of wishing you were in Boston.”

“There is absolutely nowhere I'd rather be than here with you,” Bobby said firmly. “Stop thinking otherwise.”

“Really?” John asked, his voice small.

“Yes, really,” Bobby said, pressing a kiss to John's head. “Now, what should we make our first tradition?”

“I think that when it gets dark out, we should turn off all the lights and sit in front of the tree,” John murmured. “Just sit there and enjoy it for a while.”

“I like that idea,” Bobby said, smiling when John looked up at him. “But why wait until dark?”

“Because I don't want the light of all these windows. I want it to be dark.”

“Then we'll block out the windows.”

“It's a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, baby. That is quite impossible.”

“No, it's not,” Bobby said. “Let me up.”

John moved and Bobby got up, walking into the kitchen and opening up a drawer. “What are you doing?”

“Finding this,” Bobby said, holding up a remote. He looked down at it before pressing the right button, and then the windows began to darken. “There.”

John just shook his head as the windows turned black. “Of course, you would have windows like that.”

“That is from whoever built the building, not me,” Bobby said, turning on the kitchen light. “Come on. Let's get some of the cookies that you and the girls made and go sit in front of the tree.”

John got up and headed into the kitchen, getting a plate while Bobby grabbed the cookies. Bobby filled the plate up with a ton of cookies, making John laugh. “How many cookies are we eating?”

“As many as we want, and then we'll leave the rest for Santa,” Bobby said, picking up the plate and heading for the tree.

“Santa?” John asked, bemused.

“Yeah.”

“You are aware of the fact that Santa isn't real, right?”

Bobby laughed. “Of course, I am. It's just a thing Ronny and I do. We still leave cookies for Santa. My parents ate them while they put out presents. Mother even left a note from Santa back. It was just a thing.”

John turned the kitchen light off just as Bobby got the tree lit, and then he headed in his direction. “I'm sorry, baby.”

“You're sorry about what?” Bobby asked, sitting down on the sofa. “There's absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”

“I'm sorry because you won't get to participate in traditions like that,” John said, sitting down next to him. “But maybe we can adjust that tradition and do something similar.”

Bobby reached for a cookie and handed it to John before getting one for himself. “I'd like that. How would we do that?”

“Well, we could still leave cookies out for Santa,” John said as he settled back into the sofa. “And then we could eat them while we open presents in the morning.”

Bobby smiled, leaning into John and taking a bite of his cookie. “I think that sounds great. We certainly have a lot of presents to open.”

“No, you do.”

“I think you're underestimating how many presents you are getting,” Bobby murmured, causing John to look over at him. 

“How many presents did you get me?”

“I got you one,” Bobby said defensively. “But I know that the girls went all out. It's the first Christmas that they're able to get you presents in a long time. And I have presents for you from your friends at the shop too.”

John looked over at the tree and took in a shuddering breath. “Really?”

“Everyone loves you, Johnny. They want to give you presents because of it.”

John swallowed hard. “We're going to have to go by the shop soon so I can thank everyone then.”

“We can do that,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “But we need to have that conversation about the shop soon too.”

“It's my job and I love it,” John said quietly, “and I don't know if I can go back to it now.”

“I know, Johnny,” Bobby said, reaching for his hand. “We'll figure it all out, okay? For now, let's just enjoy this.”

John nodded and bit into his cookie. “It's quiet in here. Can we put on some music?”

“Of course, we can. What do you want?” Bobby asked.

“Some sort of traditional Christmas music. I don't want some of that shit that they've been playing on the radio lately.”

Bobby smiled at him and then asked for some traditional Christmas music, looking over at John when the first song began to play. “Good?”

“Good,” John said, closing his eyes. “So we've got two traditions now.”

“Yep,” Bobby said. “Something we can pass down to the kids.”

John's eyes flew open and he looked over at Bobby. “Kids?”

“Someone is going to have to become the next Drake heir, Johnny. Kids are going to be necessary,” Bobby said, squeezing his hand. “Don't worry. It can be a long time from now. I'd like us to be bonded before we take that step, and I know that you're far away from that.”

John took a couple of deep breaths. “We've never talked about kids before.”

“Yes, we have.”

“When the fuck have we talked about kids?”

“Back then,” Bobby said quietly. “We talked about having kids back then. You wanted them just as badly as I did. But if that's changed, that's okay.”

John took another couple of deep breaths. “I don't remember that.”

“It's okay. I think we were both pretty buzzed when it came up,” Bobby said, taking another bite of his cookie. 

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, and John eventually decided that he had to be the one to break it. “I haven't thought about having kids in a very long time. It sort of became a fantasy instead of a possible reality with the way I was living.”

“As I said, if things have changed then that's fine. I'll make it so Ronny's kids inherit everything.”

“I'm not saying no,” John said seriously. “I'm saying that I'm not ready to talk about it. It's probably going to be a long time before I'm ready to talk about it.”

“Then we will revisit the subject when you're ready to talk about it,” Bobby said, polishing off his cookie. “Ready for another cookie?”

“Not yet, baby,” John said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Bobby?”

“What?”

“I think kids would really like the leaving cookies for Santa thing.”

Bobby smiled as he leaned into John again, a new cookie in hand. “I certainly did when I was a kid.”

“I never had that tradition.”

Bobby looked over at him in surprise. “What?”

“We never left cookies out for Santa,” John replied. “We never even made cookies.”

“So what were your Christmas traditions then?”

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“Yes.”

John opened his eyes and turned his head so he could look at him. “The only thing that happened year after year after year was my father saying I didn't deserve any presents because I wasn't worth gifts. I wasn't worth the time or effort that involved giving and receiving gifts. I never started getting Christmas presents until I met Jubes and she thought it was absurd that my family didn't exchange presents. I never have told her why that is.”

Bobby reached out and caressed the side of John's face. “This is why you have issues with me buying you things, isn't it? It's not necessarily my money but rather the gift itself.”

John nodded. “It's not that I don't want them, but I just...”

Bobby set the cookie back onto the plate before pulling John close and kissing him softly. “You are worth everything in the world, Johnny. Everyone around you can see what you're worth and what you're worth to them. That's why we give you presents. Because we think that you deserve them.”

John blinked as his eyes filled with tears. “Fuck.”

Bobby pulled him closer and John buried his face in Bobby's neck, letting the tears fall. “I promise you, Johnny. You're worth something to all of us. You're worth so, so much. You deserve these gifts. It's a way that we can show you how much we love you for who you are.”

John sucked in a few deep breaths and got his emotions back under control, pulling back to see Bobby peering at him with concern. “I want to believe that so badly. I really do.”

“And you'll get there,” Bobby said softly. “I do not doubt that. But right now, I just want you to enjoy Christmas. Enjoy your gifts.”

“It's not that I'm not grateful for them,” John started, but Bobby shushed him with a kiss.

“I know, Johnny. I know.”

“I don't know why you put up with me or this bullshit. I really don't.”

“I do it because I love you,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “I love you so, so much.”

John swallowed hard as tears sprang to his eyes again. “I want to believe that. I really do.”

“You'll get there,” Bobby said again. “I know that you will.”

John slumped down into Bobby's side, and Bobby wrapped an arm around him. “Can we stop talking about this, please?”

“We can do whatever you want, Johnny,” Bobby replied, giving him a soft kiss. “So, what do you want to do?”

“I want to eat these cookies, listen to this music, and come up with more Christmas traditions for us to share.”

Bobby grinned. “Then that's what we'll do. Can one of them be fucking under the Christmas tree? I always wanted to do that with you but I was afraid to bring it up.”

John laughed. “Is that so?”

“Yes, it is,” Bobby said, laughing too. “You up for making that a tradition?”

John stared at him for a moment. “Only if we wear the headbands,” he said. “And you wear the bells one.”

Bobby nodded. “I am in total agreement on that.”

“Then go get them.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

Bobby grinned and stood up. “I'll be right back then.”

“Don't forget the supplies! We'll need those!”

“I won't!”

John sat there for a moment before he ran his hands over his face and stood up. He was going to put everything they'd talked about out of his head and lose himself in the man he loved for a while.

But he knew that Bobby wouldn't forget about that conversation. He knew that he'd probably just given him another reason to hold back.

And he felt like shit about it.


	11. Chapter 11

**December 25th**

John woke up, took a look at the alarm clock, saw it was barely past five a.m., and went back to sleep. 

Bobby was already awake, putting the final touches on the Christmas display out in the main room. He thought about his gift for John for a moment, making him smile. When he went into the bedroom, however, John was still fast asleep. Bobby had a conundrum on his hands. Wake John up or let him sleep in? If he slept in, it would be a new Christmas tradition for Bobby, but if he woke up, then it would be a new tradition for John.

In the end, he decided that John need the traditions more he did, so he crouched down next to the side of the bed that John was on, reaching out to caress the side of his head. “Johnny.”

John batted at his hand. ”Wanna sleep.”

“Johnny,” Bobby tried again, “it's Christmas.”

“Do not care,” John mumbled, “Leave me alone.”

“Well, if you don't want to spend Christmas with me, then get the fuck out,” Bobby said, hoping that would get John out of bed and dressed before coming to find him instead of going to the elevator.

John's eyes immediately opened as Bobby got up and walked away, and he feared that he'd just completely fucked everything up. Absolutely everything. Bobby was going to kick him out. The girls were going to be furious. He'd have to disappear again, find a new job and a new apartment and...the fuck he was going to let that happen.

He threw the bedsheets back and found some clothes, walking out into the main room to find Bobby in the kitchen. He walked up to him and threw his arms around him, his mind racing about the fact that he could lose him. Oh God, how he couldn't lose him. 

Bobby turned around in the embrace and got his arms free, wrapping them around John and holding him close. He knew what John must be thinking at that moment and he went to speak, but John spoke first.

“I can't lose you,” John murmured. “God, Bobby, I can't lose you.”

“Shh,” Booby soothed, running a hand down his back. “You're not going to lose me, I promise.”

“I'm sorry,” John whispered into his shoulder. “I don't know what I did but I'm sorry.”

“You didn't do anything. I was trying to get you out of bed. And it worked.”

John pulled back and glared at him. “You did this to get me out of bed?”

“Maybe?” Bobby said sheepishly. “Sorry?”

John just shook his head and went back into Bobby's arms. “You're lucky that I love you so much. I'll let you get away with it.”

Bobby smiled and turned his head to press a kiss to John's. “You ready to open presents?

John took a moment to sigh before nodding. “Might as well. There's fuck all to do at this hour of the morning.”

“Just consider it practice for our kids then,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “They'll probably be getting us to get up at three a.m. because Santa will have been here.”

John let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, they definitely would. You know what else they would do?”

“What?” 

“Ruin our tradition of sex under the tree. Hell, they'll probably ruin our sex life period.” 

Bobby laughed. “I suppose they would. We'd have to give them attention instead of just having sex the moment we see each other.”

“Well, that's a long way off, like you said,” John murmured. “For now, I take it this will be a new tradition?”

“It's what Ronny and I always do,” Bobby said, running a cool hand down John's back. “We get up this early and we wait for Mom and Dad to get up too, then we run downstairs and open presents. I suppose it does make me sound like I'm five, but it's just what we do.”

“Then that is what we'll do,” John said. “But with a twist.”

“What's the twist?”

“You have to wait until at least six-thirty, seven o'clock to wake me up. I am not getting up this early again.”

“Johnny,” Bobby started. “That's too late.”

“Well, let's compromise then,” John mumbled. “What time is now?”

Bobby looked over at the kitchen clock. “It's five-twenty.”

“Then how about we compromise at six, six-fifteen,” John replied. “Is that early enough for you?”

Bobby laughed. “That's fine, but I don't understand why getting up this early bothers you. You get up this early the days you have a morning shift at the shop.”

“That's because I'll get my ass kicked if I'm late,” John laughed, sighing again. “Can we stop talking about the coffee shop, please? I promise we'll talk about it, just not now.”

“Alright,” Bobby said, smiling when John pulled back. “Ready to open presents?”

“I'm ready for some fucking coffee,” John said. “So you better have made some.”

“I did,” Bobby said. “Don't worry about that. Just go sit in front of the tree. I'll bring you some.”

“Thanks, baby,” John said, walking over to where the tree was. 

He realized after a moment that sitting on the sofa would be pointless, so he shoved the coffee table so it was out of the way and sat down on the floor. He reached for one of the many cookies that they had left out for Santa and turned his attention to the presents that were extending out onto the floor. 

Bobby walked into the room, setting a mug down near John. He sat down on the floor opposite of John and reached for where he'd put his mug, taking a long sip before leaning towards the present in front of him. “Ready?”

“I guess,” John murmured, watching as Bobby tore into the one in front of them. John picked up a box and read the label, frowning when he didn't recognize the name. “Who the fuck is Sean Cassidy and why is he giving me a present?”

“Sean Cassidy is one of the reps I deal with when it comes selling to our courier services,” Bobby said without looking up. “He was very happy to learn about you and my soulmark, and he sent us both presents for Christmas. I don't understand the problem here.”

John sighed and shook his head. “And how many people have you talked to about me?”

“Just a handful,” Bobby said, tossing the wrapping paper onto the sofa and staring at the book. “I mean, there are others, but everyone else knows now because of the interview.”

John closed his eyes and counted to twenty to try and calm himself down. “So I'm just supposed to accept this present from this person that I've never met in my life.”

“I really don't understand the problem here,” Bobby said, finally looking up at John. “I really don't.”

“The problem is that I didn't earn it,” John said softly. “I don't deserve it because I didn't earn it. And I don't know how I'm ever going to earn this. I don't deserve any of it, baby. I just don't.”

Bobby stood up and sat back down next to where John was, wrapping him up in his arms. “You deserve the world, Johnny, and I'm going to try my hardest to give it to you.”

John buried his face in Bobby's neck and Bobby sighed, silently cursing John's father yet again. “You need to remember that it's not you that is talking like that, it's your father. And he's gone now. He's not coming back. That means you don't have to do that. You can just be yourself. And I happen to love that self a lot. More than I can put into words.”

John didn't say anything in return, just sat up and reached for the present, tearing the wrapping paper up and seeing the book about the history of same-sex soulbonds before smiling. "I'll have to tell him that I like it whenever I meet him.”

Bobby grinned. “I think that sounds great, Johnny.”

“Shut up and open another present.”

They worked their way through the stack of presents, John getting more than he ever thought that he'd get in his lifetime.

And then it was down to just their presents to each other. 

John was terrified.

Bobby pulled them out from under the tree and handed the right one to John, and John nodded at the one in Bobby's hands. “You first.”

Bobby nodded and tore the paper off the box, opening it up to see nothing more than a piece of paper. Intrigued, he pulled the paper out and set the box to the side, looking over at John. “What is this?”

“Read it,” John got out, feeling like he could barely breathe. 

So, Bobby unfolded the page and found a letter. It made him instantly smile, remembering all of the little notes that John would leave all over the apartment. “You wrote me a letter?”

“Read it,” John somehow managed to say, and he reached for his coffee and took a big sip to hopefully make his throat not feel so dry. 

Bobby began to read the letter, and every word made him smile more. The beginning was a brief history of how soulmarks began, the way they were all heterosexual until 1190, the way that they began to be homosexual and the world slowly began to accept them. The second paragraph was about public figures throughout the years who have let the world know that they were members of a same-sex soulbond, the reaction the world gave those people, and how those people weathered the storm of publicity. At the end of the day, everyone remembers that this is all the work of fate, destiny, and all that bullshit. That is what determined who has the other half of his soul.

The third paragraph was about the two of them. John wrote about their first meeting, how they somehow just knew even before fate told them they were right. He apologized again for leaving him in the manner that he did, telling him that even when they were apart, he prayed every night to whatever deity would listen that Bobby ended up his soulmate. He wanted something to happen to bring him back into John's life, and then it did.

The last bit contained the part that meant the most to John, and Bobby could tell instantly that he was the most afraid of having written it. He glanced over at him. John was trying to ignore the fact that he had written it, and Bobby just shook his head and read the final paragraph.

_There will never be a day that goes by without me being grateful that you're my soulmate. And I know that it crosses your mind often that I'm unhappy with this situation. I'm not unhappy with it; I'm just learning how to deal with it again. I used to think about being this semi-public figure because of our relationship someday, and I'm not back to that place yet. But I'll do anything for you. Even if that means giving an interview to some magazine so they can print yet another article about us. Even if that means that someday you decide you don't want to deal with the bullshit I put you through. I love you more than words could ever possibly express, and I'm starting to think that maybe you love me too. I'm not there yet, but I'm going to get there. And it will be all because of you. I love you so, so much. Please always remember that._

By the time he was done, tears were flowing down his cheeks. John wanted to be his soulmate. He had always wanted that for them. But the part that got to him the most was the end. He was starting to believe. That was such a big step to take.

“So,” John said nervously, “what do you think?”

Bobby put the letter down and launched himself at John, knocking him backward before crushing their lips together. “I love you. I love it,” he said, trailing kisses around John's neck before kissing him again. “I am so happy because of that final paragraph. You're starting to believe me.”

“I'm starting to believe you,” John confirmed. “Storm and I have been working on that for a while. There is absolutely no way you could be doing the things you are doing unless you were doing them out of love, according to her. I'm trying to believe that. I'm trying so hard. I'm just not there yet.”

“But you are closer than you were a month ago?”

“I'm closer than I was a week ago,” John murmured. “Too many things have happened and your reaction to them...I'll get there. I believe that now. I didn't believe it then, but I do believe it now.”

Bobby kissed him again, his arms sliding underneath John's shirt until he realized that John had never opened his gift. So, Bobby pulled back and looked down at John, smiling. “You've got to open your present first.”

John sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed heavily and reached for the box, carefully undoing the paper and sliding it off. The box was from Tiffany & Co., and he just knew that he was right. Bobby had bought him some expensive as fuck thing and John had just written a lousy letter. He looked over at Bobby and he could tell that Bobby was nervous about what was inside the box, so John opened it up. He pulled out a bunch of tissue paper before the present came into view, and he instantly became confused when he saw the ballerina statue that Bobby had bought him at a carnival when they were on their fourth date. He sucked in a few deep breaths before speaking. “Why did you give me this?”

“Because I wanted to give you a gift that was sentimental,” Bobby said, inching closer to him. “I didn't want to get you something that would upset you, and since I still have all of your stuff, I went and looked at it. I chose the ballerina because I wanted you to realize that not everything I give you is about my money. It meant a lot to you back then, and I'm hoping that it means a lot to you now.”

John blinked several times, trying to stop the building tears. “This was the first gift you ever gave me.”

“I know it was,” Bobby said, smiling as John twirled it around in his hand. “Not everything I buy is about money, Johnny. Yes, I have a lot of money, and yes, I want to spend some of it on you, but that doesn't mean everything has to be. I know that I've overstepped on several occasions and tried to make you accept the money when you weren't ready for it, but I just wanted you to remember that not everything is about the money. It's more about giving you things that you will learn to love. I want to just enjoy each other's company like we did that night. Yes, the whole world knows about us now and that must be terrifying to you and it's pretty damn scary to me, but that doesn't mean I want every night to be a society party the way that the other night was. It's about having nights like we did at the carnival. I want nights like that too.”

John took a shuddering breath before looking over at Bobby. “You really want us to have nights like that?”

“I want us to have a lot more nights like that than I do the society shit,” Bobby confirmed. “And I think that you would probably like it a lot.”

“I'm going to love it,” John said, twirling the statue around in his hands. “I wonder if she still makes music and dances.”

“She does,” Bobby said. “I tested it out before I put it in the box.”

“I about had a panic attack when I saw that box, by the way,” John said, trying to remember where you turned the statue on. “I thought you'd bought me this expensive as fuck thing and I only wrote you a letter.”

“The letter was perfect, Johnny,” Bobby said, smiling as John set the statue on the coffee table and she began to dance. “And I think the statue might be perfect too.”

John nodded. “I remember how many hours we spent playing with this thing while we were drunk.”

Bobby laughed. “I remember them too. We were absolutely wrecked and too drunk to fuck, so we played with that instead.”

“Pretty much,” John said, taking a deep breath. “I need to say something about everything you said.”

“Then go on,” Bobby said, reaching out to tangle their fingers together. 

“I didn't want any of my stuff back,” John said, his eyes filling up with tears. “I never wanted to see it again. I hated the idea that you still had it and that you had kept it for that long. But you've given it to me and I love it. You didn't throw money at a gift. You just got me something that you knew I'd love. 

“And seeing this again, hearing what you said, I just...I believe you, Bobby. I believe you when you say you don't want everything to be fancy, high society bullshit. You want nights at the carnival when we were so drunk that I can barely remember anything about that night but this statue. You want nights like that too, and I believe it. I believe that you mean that.”

Bobby grinned and squeezed John's hand. “That is amazing, Johnny. Absolutely amazing.”

“Now if only I could believe that the reason for that was love,” John said, the tears streaming down his face. “I want to believe it so, so badly.”

“It's okay, Johnny,” Bobby said, wrapping him up in his arms. “You'll get there. I know you will. And this is a big step. A breakthrough. You believe me about something. That's wonderful to hear.”

John went to speak but a sob came out instead, and Bobby just held him close as John buried his face in Bobby's neck. John cried and cried, letting all of his frustration at the situation he found himself in out. He wanted to go find his parents and flaunt the fact that he was the one that got Bobby Drake, but he knew that his father would just tear him down again. He was starting to believe that he could be put back together. And maybe someday he'd think about Bobby and realize that it's love and always has been. He wanted that so, so badly, but fate, destiny, and all that bullshit had made it clear that John wasn't going to be ready for it until the right time. He just didn't know when that time was.

The haze John was surrounded in was interrupted by the sound of Bobby's phone ringing, but Bobby didn't get up to answer it. John pulled back and saw the look on his face. “Go answer your phone, Bobby.”

“Nope,” Bobby said, shaking his head. “I'm not answering that phone call today.”

“Whose ringtone is it then?” John asked.

“My father's,” Bobby murmured. “As I said, I'm not answering that phone call today.”

John nodded. “I don't blame you.”

“Are you okay now?” Bobby asked softly. “Because you can always cry on my shoulder. I'll never look at you differently because of it.”

John nodded. “I think I'm okay now. I think. Who knows, something might set me off crying again tonight. It always seems to. I'm such a fucking mess, Bobby. I don't even know where to start.”

“Well, whatever you're working on, it's obviously having some effect. You believe me.”

“Not in the way you want. Not in the way anyone wants.”

“That doesn't matter,” Bobby said seriously. “What matters is that you are believing it.”

John sucked in a couple of deep breaths. “Can we please change the subject?”

“Of course, Johnny.”

“Go get the headbands.”

Bobby grinned. “Shouldn't we clean up all this wrapping paper before we do that?”

John shook his head. “I find there is something appealing about the thought of fucking you on wrapping paper in front of the tree.”

Bobby laughed and stood up. “Should I get the candy canes too? We had a lot of fun with those too.”

John felt a shiver go down his spine. “You better believe we're doing that again.”

“Alright, I'll be right back,” Bobby called out. 

“Bring a lot of candy canes!” John yelled back. “I've got an idea!”

“What is this idea?”

“It involves sucking on a candy cane and then blowing you. I think you'd like the feeling of the mint taste in my mouth on your cock.”

There was a delay, and then Bobby responded. “I'll bring the whole box because that sounds incredible.”

John just laughed. It had been a couple of years since he even accepted that Christmas was still a holiday but now, fuck, he was going to enjoy Christmas this year.


	12. Chapter 12

**December 27th**

John looked over at the elevator as he heard the sound of it arriving, smiling when the doors opened. “Jubes! I was wondering when you were going to come over. We had talked about doing this yesterday.”

“Sorry, Johnny, but my mother made me go to all the post-Christmas sales with her yesterday,” Jubilee said, walking over to him and giving him a big hug. “Thank you for the fabulous scarf, by the way. I am very much looking forward to wearing that.”

“I thought it was something you would like,” John said, hugging her back. “Thank you for everything you got me. I wasn't expecting anything, to be honest.”

Jubilee shook her head as she pulled back. “You deserve all the presents in the world, Johnny boy. I've been telling you that since we were twelve.”

“I know, I know. Bobby said the same thing to me yesterday,” John said, walking towards the kitchen. “Let me finish cleaning up the dishes and then we can go.”

“I'm not sure that's a very good idea,” Jubilee said carefully, making John turn around and look at her. 

“What does that mean?”

Jubilee took a deep breath. “It means that I walked through a group of photographers outside the building to get in here.”

John swallowed hard. “What?”

Jubilee walked over to him and hugged him again. “It's okay, honey. It's okay.”

“Photographers?” John said shakily. “There are photographers?”

Jubilee brushed a kiss along John's cheek as she pulled back. “I think there's probably going to be photographers for a while. And I think they've probably been there since the article came out. You just don't know because you haven't left the building.”

John took a couple of breaths. “Yeah, I haven't,” he said, shaking his head. “But Bobby has.”

“I have what?” came Bobby's voice, and they turned to see him walking into the room. “Jubes! I'm glad you're here. Are you two about to leave?”

“I don't think we're going anywhere,” Jubilee started, but John just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.

“When the fuck were you going to tell me about the photographers?”

Bobby sighed heavily. “They're still out there? I told security to do something about that.”

“When the fuck were you going to tell me?” John said, feeling his chest tighten as the thought of the photographers really hit him. “Answer the fucking question.”

“I thought that they would be gone before you left the building,” Bobby said, walking into the kitchen. “It's not a big deal.”

John tried to speak but found he suddenly couldn't breathe, sinking to his knees and gasping for air. 

“Johnny,” Jubilee said, dropping down next to him. “Breathe, Johnny.”

John tried to but he still couldn't breathe. Photographers. There were photographers and Bobby didn't think it was a big deal but at that moment, it felt like the biggest deal in the world. 

“It's okay, Johnny,” Jubilee said, running a hand down his back. “It's okay. There are no photographers here. It's just me and Bobby.”

John gasped as the air suddenly filled his lungs, leaning into Jubilee and burying his face in her neck. “Bobby, get me a glass of water, okay?” he heard Jubilee say, and he clung to her as though his life depended on it.

He could hear the sound of a glass being set on the floor before he felt Bobby's cool hand on the back of his neck, and he tried to breathe as much as he could.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't.

But they'd jumped in at the deep end when they weren't sure John could swim, and he had no choice now but to learn and learn quickly.

“I'm okay,” he finally got out, and Jubilee's arms tightened around him. “I swear.”

“Johnny, you are not okay,” Jubilee said seriously before looking over at Bobby. “Has he done this before?”

“A couple of days ago after the party,” Bobby said, his eyes full of concern. “I didn't think anything of it.”

“Well, you need to,” Jubilee said firmly. “Knowing what I know about Johnny, this won't be the last time this happens. He needs some anxiety medicine. And like, yesterday. There's no way he's going to be able to handle all of this if he doesn't get any.”

“Can't Storm do that?”

Jubilee shook her head. “Psychologists can't prescribe medication. He needs a psychiatrist for that.”

“I'll get Rogue to make an appointment with someone then,” Bobby said, standing up and looking around for his phone. “Fuck, where is it?”

“Probably in the bedroom,” John got out, and Jubilee rested her head against his. 

“It's okay, Johnny. I promise,” Jubilee said softly. “We're going to get you some help for this, okay?”

“I don't want to go to someplace for the elite,” John murmured. “And I know that's where he's going to have Rogue call.”

“How about my doctor?” Jubilee suggested. “Dr. Howlett is great. He'll be incredibly discreet. You can't even tell that is his office from the outside. It's in a big building in Fort Hamilton. There are no signs so if someone follows you there, they won't be able to tell what you're there for.”

“Follows me?”

“You've got to realize that's a possibility now, Johnny boy,” Jubilee said, tightening her grip on him when she felt John shudder. “I know it's hard to think about, but it's the truth. There's a lot about this that I have a feeling Bobby didn't prepare you very well for.”

“I didn't prepare him well for what?” Bobby said as he walked back into the room, typing away at his phone.

“Tell Rogue that I'll tell her what doctor to make the appointment with,” Jubilee said, shaking her head when Bobby looked up at her. “He'll feel more comfortable with my doctor than he ever will with some elite psychiatrist in downtown Manhattan.”

“You're probably right about that,” Bobby murmured. “But what did I not prepare him for?”

“For the reaction, you fucking moron,” Jubilee said icily. “You had to have known that there would be photographers camped out in front of the building. You had to know that they will do anything to get a photo of the two of you together now. You had to know that they'd probably follow him wherever he went. You didn't say a fucking thing to him about any of that before you did that fucking interview.”

“I didn't think it would be a big deal,” Bobby said defensively.

“You didn't think it would be a big deal? Have you lost your fucking mind?” Jubilee said as John trembled against her.

“It's not that big of a deal.”

“Of course it's not to you! You've dealt with this since birth!” Jubilee shook her head in disgust. “His life as he knew it is gone, Bobby. Your life hasn't changed a fucking bit but everything he knew is gone. He won't even be able to do his fucking job without everyone who comes in there knowing exactly who the fuck he is. You didn't think about this at all, you lousy motherfucker. You only thought about yourself.”

Bobby swallowed hard. “I just...”

They were interrupted by the elevator doors opening, Piotr taking one look at what was happening before sighing. “Of course he's fucking here.”

“Yeah, he's fucking here and you can fucking deal with it,” Bobby said firmly. “Get the fuck over this, Piotr.”

“You know why I'm doing this,” Piotr said, walking over to them and looking at John in Jubilee's arms. “What's wrong with him?”

“He had a fucking panic attack because Bobby didn't prepare him for this at all,” Jubilee said before Bobby could say anything. “All I had to do was say there were photographers outside and he ended up like this.”

Piotr looked over at Bobby and Bobby sighed heavily. “I didn't think, alright? Jubilee is right. I thought more about how this would benefit me than I did about how this would affect him.”

“Who cares?” Piotr said, shaking his head. “He's not going to be here for long anyway. He'll just disappear again like he did last time. That's all he's good for.”

Bobby shoved Piotr hard. “Knock it the fuck off. NOW.”

“What the fuck do you expect me to do, Bobby? Forget about what you were like after he left? Forget about the fucking pills? Not a fucking chance in hell is that happening.”

“Pills?” Jubilee said before Bobby could respond. “What fucking pills are you talking about?”

Bobby sucked in a deep breath. “I talked my doctor into giving me sleeping pills. I wasn't planning on taking them one at a time.”

Jubilee's eyes widened. “You were going to fucking kill yourself? Bobby, that's madness.”

“I didn't want to live without him,” Bobby said softly. “And I am not going to live without him now either. Piotr can just get the fuck over this or get the fuck out of my life.”

“You don't fucking mean that,” Piotr said, making Bobby glare at him.

“The fuck I don't! He's my soulmate, Piotr. I love him more than life itself. Losing him would kill me, especially now that I know what things are like with the soulbond complete. You don't understand, Piotr. You haven't found your soulmate yet.”

“Actually, I have.”

Jubilee looked at him in confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about? Last I knew, your mark hadn't turned color yet.”

“Yes, well, it turned red on December twelfth,” Piotr said, smiling. “And then I went into the coffee shop to tell John what a fucking horrible idea this interview had been and threaten him about hurting Bobby again, and this beautiful woman was in there. She's been in there almost every time I've been in, but this was the first time I'd seen her soulmark. She had the most beautiful rose on her arm, and I complimented her on it, and while I was examining it, I pressed down on it, like I've been doing on everyone's mark that I have examined since mine turned red, and it was her. It was fucking her.”

“We will get back to you threatening John in a minute,” Jubilee said firmly. “What's her name then?”

“Kitty,” Piotr said, and John sat up straight. 

“Kitty? As in the girl I work with?”

“That's her,” Piotr said, grinning. “We're having dinner tonight.”

John got to his feet and walked over to Piotr, his gaze narrowing. “If you hurt her, I swear to God I will burn you to a crisp and not feel bad about it.”

“I'm not going to fucking hurt her,” Piotr said firmly. “At least she doesn't have to worry about me disappearing the way Bobby has to worry about you.”

“Piotr, knock this shit the fuck off now,” Bobby said firmly, pulling John away from Piotr and into his arms. “John isn't going anywhere. Fucking deal with it.”

John worked his way out of Bobby's arms and headed towards the bedroom, making Bobby sigh. “Johnny, come back here.”

“Fuck off!”

Jubilee stood up and glared at Bobby before taking off after John. Bobby sighed heavily and turned to Piotr. “Thank you for making a difficult situation worse.”

“Whatever,” Piotr said, shaking his head. “Can we please go get this over with? I'd like to get over to the coffee shop and see my soulmate.”

Bobby sighed. “Give me a minute and then we'll go.”

Piotr nodded and Bobby headed in the direction of the bedroom, pausing in the hallway when he saw that John had collapsed again. Jubilee had him in her arms and was slowly rocking him back and forth, and when she saw Bobby, she glared at him again. “You are a fucking bastard for doing this to him.”

Bobby dropped to his knees next to them, reaching out to run a hand down John's back. “Yes, I'm a fucking bastard. I know. I just really didn't think about this. I mean, he's been talking about how he's not sure he can go back to his job, but I didn't think that was really a reality. I thought he just needed some gentle persuasion.”

“Yeah, well, I think you need to fucking think about someone other than yourself for a while,” Jubilee said firmly. “I meant what I said. His life as he knew it is over.”

Bobby swallowed hard. “He's always telling me how much he wants his life from before we found each other again back and I just...you're right. I didn't think about it. I didn't think about it at all.”

“Go do what you have to do with Piotr,” Jubilee said softly. “I'll deal with Johnny.”

“But I...”

“Go,” John murmured. “I don't want to talk to you right now.”

Bobby stared at them for a moment before nodding, standing up. “Let me know when I can come back then.”

“I will,” Jubilee said as Bobby walked away. “It's going to be okay, Johnny. I promise. I'll be by your side for all of this. I'm not going to leave you alone.”

“You're going to have to,” John murmured, turning so his face wasn't buried in her neck. “You've got to go back to work on Monday.”

“No,” Jubilee sighed. “I don't.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I don't have a job to go back to,” Jubilee said softly. “Nothing says Merry Christmas quite like being fired on Christmas Eve.”

John sat up and looked at her. “What?”

“The company was in trouble so they had to make all kinds of cuts. My job was one of them,” Jubilee said, sighing. “Fuck, and I'm not going to be able to find one in this market either. It's okay. I'll make it work.”

“I'll take care of it,” John said, making Jubilee look over at him. 

“How can you take care of it, Johnny boy?”

“Well, Bobby's money is my money, right? So, I'm going to use some of it to hire you until you can find another job,” John said seriously. “I'm not going to let you just drift around without a paycheck until you find one.”

Jubilee let out a laugh. “So, you want me to be your version of Rogue, hm?”

“I can't imagine that you'd have to do as much as she will, but you just promised me that you'd be by my side for all of this. This way, you will be.”

Jubilee took in the serious look on John's face before nodding. “Okay, until I can find another job, then I'll be your assistant or whatever the fuck you want to call me.”

John gave her a look of relief, and Jubilee pulled him to her again. “It's going to be okay, Johnny. I promise.”

John took a couple of deep breaths before nodding. “Did you drive here?”

“Of course.”

“Did you park in the parking garage?”

“I don't have access to that, honey.”

John took another deep breath. “How far away did you park then?”

“A block,” Jubilee said, squeezing him tightly. “You can do this, Johnny. I'll be right next to you the whole time.”

John nodded before pulling away and standing up. “The only way that I'm going to get used to this is if I do it. Rogue told me that about Bobby's money, and I'm sure that she'd tell me the same about this.”

“I don't want you to do this if you think you can't,” Jubilee said. “I can go over to your apartment by myself and get everything you tell me to.”

John shook his head. “No. I need to do this. I need to get used to this. Bobby might not have thought about what would really happen to my life when he did this, but I didn't think about it too much either. I just agreed that he could do it. So, don't be so mad at him, okay? It's just as much my fault as his.”

“I completely disagree with that, but okay,” Jubilee said, letting John help her up. “Do you want to take your presents back to your apartment?”

John thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. “I am not sure that I'll have an apartment for much longer, so I don't think so.”

Jubilee shook her head. “You can still live in your own apartment, sweetie.”

“Something tells me that me and Bobby living in separate places is going to cause more headlines than it's worth,” John said, letting Jubilee take his hand. “And I would like to limit headlines as much as possible.”

“You're probably right about that,” Jubilee said. “So, let's go get your stuff and then we'll go.”

John nodded and when they walked back into the main room, Bobby was standing there with Piotr. “Fucking great.”

“I'm sorry,” Bobby said quickly, walking over to him. “I'm so sorry. I didn't think about it. I really didn't.”

“It's okay,” John murmured, throwing his arms around Bobby. “We'll figure it out. It's just overwhelming.”

“I'll have Rogue make that appointment, okay?” Bobby said, getting his arms free and wrapping them around John. “I'll do whatever I have to do to make this better.”

“Jubes is my new assistant or whatever,” John murmured. “At least until she gets a new job.”

Bobby looked over at Jubilee and she nodded. “He needs me right now and I don't have a job to get back to.”

“What happened to your job?”

“Fired on Christmas Eve. Fuckers.”

Bobby sighed and tightened his grip on John. “Then you'll be John's assistant for a while.”

John broke their embrace and leaned forward, kissing Bobby softly. “Jubes and I are going over to my apartment to get some stuff, okay? If I'm going to be here for a while, then I'm going to need more than just what I've got here right now.”

“You don't have to stay here,” Bobby started to say, but John just shook his head. 

“I'll feel safer here,” he said quietly. “I need to feel safe right now.”

Bobby nodded and kissed him. “You can stay here for as long as you want to.”

“I know,” John said, pulling away from him and walking past where Piotr was glaring at him, grabbing his coat and calling the elevator. “Come on, Jubes. Let's go.”

Jubilee glared at Piotr as she walked by. “Get the fuck over this before I kill you.”

They all stood there in awkward silence until the elevator arrived, John getting into it with Jubilee. “I'll see you later, baby.”

“I'll be looking forward to it, Johnny.”

The elevator doors closed and Bobby ran his hands over his face. “Come on. When the elevator comes back up, we'll go.”

“What you want to do is for him, isn't it?”

Bobby just nodded. “He needs access to everything.”

Piotr sighed heavily. “You're not concerned about him taking all of that and disappearing?”

“He's not going to disappear, Piotr. And if I have to listen to this bullshit about how he's going to disappear one more time, then you're getting cut the fuck out of my life. I don't care how long we've been friends.”

Piotr sighed again. “Fine. I'll stop.”

Bobby grabbed his phone and wallet before walking over to call the elevator. “You better. Now tell me more about this soulmate. And I want to see your soulmark soon. That looked like it would be gorgeous once it's colored.”

Piotr smiled. “I'll show you later. And I don't know all that much about Kitty yet, so maybe you can tell me what you know from talking to John.”

Bobby smiled back. “I'll be glad to. Kitty is absolutely wonderful. You're a lucky man.”

Piotr walked over to him and sighed. "Something tells me that John is going to have a major problem with this."

"Well, given the way you've been treating him, you can't fucking blame him," Bobby said, shaking his head. "And he's serious about you hurting her."

"I'm not going to hurt her. She's my soulmate."

"That doesn't mean you can't hurt her," Bobby said, shaking his head as the elevator arrived. "Fuck, I hate that I've done this to John. Whatever. Come on. Let's go."

"You really think he's going to stay this time?" Piotr asked, and Bobby nodded shakily.

"He will. We need each other too much."

"I sincerely hope that's the case because if he does that to you again, I really will kill him."

"That won't be necessary," Bobby said, but he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he might have done enough to drive John away. He wouldn't blame him if he ran again.

Bobby ruined his life. And he had no idea how to ever fix this. No clue.


	13. Chapter 13

**December 29th**

“Johnny?”

John looked up from where he was making them breakfast as Bobby sat down at the bar. “What, baby?”

“I'm sorry,” Bobby said softly.

“What are you sorry for?” John asked, confused. “There's nothing to be sorry for.”

“Yes, there is,” Bobby said, taking a deep breath. “I didn't think about what the interview would do to your life before I did it. I knew that it would make you known to everyone, but I never thought about just what that meant. I didn't think about how this would affect you at all. And so I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.”

John sighed heavily. “I didn't think about it either. I just knew that you needed to do it. I knew that you had to take this chance. I've heard enough over the years to know how many times you've had to give in to what they wanted instead of doing what you did. I didn't want you to have to do that again. But I didn't think about the fact that I'd be seeing pictures of us from college on the internet either. I'm just as much to blame for my reaction to things as you are.”

“No, you really aren't. I knew what the reaction is every time a piece of personal information about my family gets out there. I knew this would be worse because it came straight from me and so it was confirmed to be true instead of just assumed to be. I didn't tell you about any of it and I should have. Jubes is right. I didn't prepare you for this at all.”

John stayed silent until he was done cooking, putting the omelets on plates and setting them on the bar. Bobby slid one in front of him and then the other in front of John when he sat down next to him. They ate in silence for a couple of minutes before John broke it.

“Yes, you should have told me all of that. But I'm not mad at you because you didn't.”

“You should be.”

“Maybe, but I'm not. I could have asked too. But I was naïve and thought everything would stay the same. But it's not and it never will be again, and I don't know what to do about it.”

“I know I promised you that we'd find a planet of our own, that I wouldn't make you come over to mine, but I'm afraid that's what I've done.”

“No, baby, it's not. Your Christmas present proved that. But our planet is going to be a lot more like yours than like mine. I have to accept that. Some of the things from mine just can't happen now. It's just not possible.”

Bobby reached over and tangled his fingers together with John's. “Does that mean you're ready to talk about your conversation with Erik?”

“I can't go back there,” John said softly. “At least not in the job I was doing. But talking to Erik yesterday helped a bit. He said that we could find a new position for me. Jean is wanting to move on to a different job now that she's graduated from Fordham, but she's stayed at the shop because of how we're all a family. She told Erik that she has an offer for one, so Erik said that maybe I could move into her job.”

“What does Jean do there?” Bobby asked.

“Jean is rarely out in the shop itself. She does more behind the scenes stuff. She's the one in charge of inventory, so she's constantly monitoring what supplies we need and getting them ordered, deals with the deliveries, that sort of stuff. She unpacks all the boxes and gets everything ready to be used. She helps out sometimes during rushes when someone calls in, but usually, she only goes upfront to restock something if Kitty or I call out that it's needed. So, basically, I could still be there but not at the register like I've been doing. Erik said he could hire someone else to do that job.”

Bobby nodded. “Is that something you'd want to do?”

“I think so,” John murmured. “I wasn't sure about getting to work from here every day because there is no way I can ride the trains anymore, but now that Jubes is around to help me out, she can pick me up and take me there before she goes to my apartment and gets to work.”

“Gets to work on what?” Bobby asked, confused.

John took a deep breath. “Us living in separate places is going to cause more trouble than it's worth. The last thing that I need is to wake up every morning to another headline about how we're living in separate places and what that means for our relationship. I'm sure that this is going to be okay with you because this is what you've wanted from the very beginning, but I'm going to move in here. Jubes will pack up my apartment while I'm at work, and the days that I'm not at work, I'm going to help her.”

Bobby let a smile cross his face. “I'm going to really like you living here, even if I don't like the circumstances in which you've made this decision.”

“I think I'm going to really like that too,” John said, smiling back. “I have really, really missed you every night that we've spent apart, whether that was because you were at the office working on some ridiculous project your father gave you or if there was some other reason. I have tried for a very long time to tell myself that I didn't really need you this much, but the truth is that I do. Every second that I don't spend with you has become torture, baby. Maybe it's because the soulbond is complete. But I need you more than I can say and I need to be around you as much as possible, and with me here all the time, I think I'm going to feel better about a lot of things.”

Bobby reached out and pulled John into a kiss. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.”

“It's still going to be a long time before I'm okay with all of this, and I don't know if I ever truly will be. But my life as I knew it is gone. I know I should be very upset about that, but I'm really not. If this is what I have to do to have you next to me, then this is what I have to do. I just wish that we'd put a little more thought into how this happened.”

“That's my fault. That is one million percent my fault. I should have prepared you better and I'm not going to forgive myself for that for a long time.”

“Don't do that, baby. Please don't do that,” John said. “Torturing yourself over this won't help. I just need your help to get through all of this now. I have no idea how to handle this shit, Bobby. There are still fucking photographers outside of the building. I walked through them with Jubes yesterday and it freaked me the fuck out. I had to get her to pull over three blocks from here because I was having another fucking panic attack. But these are things that I need to get used to. Maybe not them camped out in front of the building, but you get invited to red carpet events all the time, and as you said after the party, I'm your plus one for life. That means there are going to be a ton of photographers taking our picture, and that means there's going to be more articles on the internet and more magazine covers, and I just...I'm going to need your help.”

“I will do whatever it is you need me to do,” Bobby promised. “Anything.”

John nodded. “I know you will. I don't doubt that for a moment. But it's going to be a very, very long time before I'm comfortable with all of this. And Jubes is right about me needing to be on some sort of medication to help me manage it. I can't be having a panic attack every time I think about leaving here, and right now, that's what's happening. She's going to be here any minute now, by the way. She's taking me to the appointment with the psychiatrist.”

“Then I'll go get myself ready to go.”

John shook his head. “I'm doing this part by myself. There are a few things that I want to talk to him about that don't pertain to my panic attacks and I think it would go better if you weren't with me.”

Bobby frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Storm has been suggesting to me for a while that I see a psychiatrist,” John said carefully. “She thinks I need to be on medication for my depression too.”

“Depression?”

“I am so happy to have you in my life again, baby. So unbelievably happy. I'm happy to have all of our friends and everyone at the shop in my life too. But I live in a pretty general state of misery. I have for decades now. That all goes back to how my father made me feel about myself. Made me feel about everything. Storm thinks that if I get that depression to a much more manageable level then we might start making more progress in therapy. I already know that I can't wait to talk to her about everything that's happened since we last spoke when we start our sessions back up in January. There's a whole lot that I still need to process too that doesn't even begin to have something to do with the fact that I can't believe it when people say they care about me in any way. That has nothing to do with me thinking I'm not deserving of love of any kind.”

“What does that mean?” Bobby asked. “Because I thought you'd told me all about that.”

John paused. “Your father was not the only one of our fathers that used to dole out punishment in a physical manner,” he eventually said. “One of the things that I've never told you is that day, the day when I ran, before I made the decision to do so, I had to spend a significant portion of my savings on a visit to urgent care because I had a pretty bad black eye and he broke my left arm.”

Bobby's eyes widened. “What?”

“I didn't want to tell you,” John whispered. “I didn't want you to know. It had been a while since he'd done something like that, since I'd graduated from high school actually, but when he heard what I had to say that day, he didn't just tear me down mentally. He did it while he was beating me up. Mom just sat there and watched like she always did. She never tried to stop him from doing shit like that.”

Bobby reached out and pulled John to him, holding him as close as he could. “Oh, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.”

“It's not your fault,” John murmured.

“I kept pushing you to tell them and...”

“And it would have happened if you'd tried to get me to tell them or not,” John said. “I always knew that was a risk of telling them the truth, and I decided to do it anyway. I always figured that I could just tell you that I got robbed if it happened. I didn't want you to know the truth. But since you told me about what your father did to you, I'm telling you what my father did to me. You knowing the truth will make everything easier.”

“This is why you always would cower when I got in your face during an argument, isn't it?” Bobby said with realization. “You were afraid I was going to hit you.”

John buried his face in Bobby's neck and nodded. “It's the way he made me.”

Bobby silently cursed John's father for what felt like the ninety-nine hundred gazillionth time in the last three months. “I would never, ever do that to you.”

“I know,” John mumbled, pressing a kiss to Bobby's skin. “I know you wouldn't. I knew it then too. It's just an automatic reaction that he's ingrained into me.”

“I hate your father so much,” Bobby said. “I would kill him if we ever came face to face. I would actually physically kill him.”

“I wouldn't want you to do that,” John said, pulling back. “Not because he doesn't deserve it, but because he's not worth the effort.”

“I probably wouldn't be able to control myself,” Bobby admitted. “What a lousy motherfucker he is.”

“And what a lousy motherfucker your father is,” John said, taking a deep breath. “I would have told you someday. I needed to tell you before I went to the appointment and I've been putting it off because I didn't know quite how to put it into words.”

“It's okay,” Bobby said, caressing the side of John's face. “And whatever it is you need to do to help yourself heal is something that I am going to completely support. If that means you don't want me at this appointment with you, then that means I won't be there. If that means you never want to tell me the details, then that's fine. I want you to do whatever it is you're most comfortable with.”

“Thank you,” John breathed out. “I love you so much, baby. And I know everything is really overwhelming for me at the moment, but you make it all worth it. You will make everything I have to deal with for the rest of my life worth it.”

Bobby gave him a soft smile. “I love you too, Johnny. More than I could ever put into words. And you're going to believe that someday. I know you will.”

John pulled Bobby into a deep kiss, breaking it a moment later when the sound of the elevator arriving hit them. “Guess Jubes is here.”

Bobby kissed him again. “Then go get the help you need. I'll be here when you get back.”

“I have one request.”

“Anything.”

“Can you get Jubes access to the parking garage?” John said quietly. “I really don't want to have to walk through those photographers all the time until they finally get a picture of us together. And I don't want to have to deal with that continuing even after they do. Plus, it'll help her with moving the boxes here from my apartment.”

Bobby nodded and turned around when the elevator opened, smiling at Jubilee. “Jubes, do you know your license plate number?”

“Yeah, I do,” Jubilee said. “Why?”

“Write it down for me and I'll call and get you access to the garage,” Bobby said, standing up. “They'll give you the code for the gate once you go down there and show them your driver's license.”

Jubilee smiled and nodded, spotting a notepad on the kitchen counter and walking over to it. “That would be much appreciated.”

“Once you get access, go move your car in there and park in one of the four open spots to the right of my car. It's to the right of the elevator on the first level you drive into. Those all belong to the penthouse,” Bobby said, watching as she wrote the number down. “Johnny will meet you there.”

Jubilee tore the page off the notepad and handed it to him. “I will do that.”

“I'll be right back,” Bobby said, walking towards his office. 

Jubilee walked around the counter and hopped up onto the stool that Bobby had vacated. “I don't blame you for not wanting to walk through those photographers again. They were calling out to me today because they recognize me from being with you. It's annoying as fuck, but I can only imagine what that's like for you.”

“I just can't handle things like that,” John said, taking a deep breath. “I told him.”

Jubilee reached out and put a hand on his arm. “How did that go?”

“He wants to kill my father again.”

“I don't blame him,” Jubilee said, shaking her head. “I would murder him on the spot if I saw him again.”

“I would turn him into charcoal long before you would get the chance,” John said, running his hands over his face. “Bobby wanted to go with us but I told him I needed to do this on my own.”

“Did he take that well?”

John nodded. “He said he's willing to do whatever is necessary to help me heal, even if that means I'm leaving him out of this.”

“That's good, Johnny. That's really good.”

John swallowed hard. “Would you go back into the room with me? I don't want him there but I also don't know if I can do this alone.”

“I will do whatever it is you need me to do, and you know that.”

“You already know everything that I have to talk to him about and I figured you might be a good go-between for me and Dr. Howlett since you already know him.”

“I'd do anything for you, Johnny boy. You know that.”

Bobby came walking back into the room at that moment. “Alright, Jubes, it's all taken care of. All you have to do is stop in the security office when you get down there.”

“Thank you very much, Bobby,” Jubilee said, jumping off the stool. “Can Johnny get into the parking garage from the ground floor or does he have to take the elevator straight there?”

“He can get in there,” Bobby said. “So you can take the elevator down together and then John can wait in there while you move your car.”

“Excellent,” Jubilee said, reaching out to hug Bobby. “I'm sorry for the way I yelled at you the other day. I just wish you'd used your fucking brain before thrusting him into this.”

“It's okay, Jubes,” Bobby said as he pulled back. “I deserved it.”

“No, you didn't,” John said, climbing off the stool and reaching for the plates. “Do you mind doing the dishes?”

“No,” Bobby said, taking the plates from him. “Go before you end up late.”

“Oh, we're not going to end up late,” Jubilee said, shaking her head. “I made sure of that. We have plenty of time to get over there.”

“Good,” Bobby said, pausing to kiss John. “I'll talk to you when you get back.”

John went and grabbed his coat, pausing when he thought of something. “Baby?”

“What?”

“How am I supposed to pay for this?”

Bobby smiled at him. “Just put it all on that credit card of yours. It'll all be handled.”

“You sure you want to do that?”

“Johnny,” Bobby said seriously. “It's your money too. If this is what it needs to be spent on, then this is what it needs to be spent on.”

John looked over at the elevator in confusion when he heard it arriving again. “Who is that?”

“Probably Rogue,” Bobby said, putting the dishes in the sink. “She was going to come over this morning and help me with some things. I would have just told her to wait a few hours if you'd wanted me to come with you.”

John relaxed when the doors opened and Rogue came walking out. “I was just worried it was Piotr again.”

“Don't even fuckin' tell me that he's still bein' a complete douchebag about all of this,” Rogue said as she walked over to him. “Because I really will fuckin' kill him if he keeps this up.”

“He told me he'd stop, Rogue. And he's doing it out of a place of love and concern,” Bobby said, drawing her attention to him. 

“Does this mean that you're finally gonna tell me what this is about?” Rogue said. “Because you promised me that before the party and ya still haven't done that.”

Bobby nodded. “I'll tell you. But let them leave first. They have to get to Johnny's doctor's appointment.”

Rogue gave John a big hug. “Everythin' is gonna be fine, darlin'. Don't worry about all those photographers.”

“He doesn't have to,” Jubilee said. “Bobby gave me access to the parking garage so I'm going to pick Johnny up in there.”

“Good,” Rogue said seriously. “Johnny doesn't need to be walkin' through all that.”

John grabbed Jubilee by the hand and pulled her towards the elevator before it started going back down. “Let's go, Jubes.”

“See you guys later!” Bobby called out as they got into it. 

When the doors were closed and it had begun its descent, John leaned up against the wall and slid down to the floor. “When we're done with the doctor, can we go by the shop? I need to talk to Erik.”

Jubilee sat down on the floor next to him. “Going to tell him you can't go back there?”

“I did that during a phone call yesterday,” John said, slumping into her side. “But then he basically offered me Jean's job since she's got another one lined up, and I need to see if he's serious because if he is, then I will happily take it.”

Jubilee smiled. “That's great news. I know you were really upset at the thought of not getting to be there every day.”

“Yeah, I really was,” John said, settling his head on her shoulder. “So, I would need you to pick me up and take me to work, and then I'd need you to take me home at the end of the day, and that would also leave you to pack up my apartment on your own unless I had the day off and could be there to help you.”

“All of which I am more than willing to do,” Jubilee said, letting out a small laugh. “You're paying me more than I'd ever be able to find at another job, you know that?”

“I told you I'd take care of it and I meant that.”

“Well, depending on what I'm able to find and how much of a hit that will be every month after this paycheck, I might not want another job.”

John tilted his head up to look at her. “I'd never, ever make you do all of what Rogue does for Bobby, but I wouldn't mind it at all if you were just here for me throughout all of this. You're my best friend, Jubes. Bobby's my soulmate and I'd be lost without him, but I'd be lost without you too. You're the only thing that has really kept me alive all these years.”

“You're my best friend too, Johnny. And I will do whatever is necessary to keep you alive.”

“Even if that means maybe giving up what you spent so long wanting and then learning how to do?”

Jubilee smiled at him. “Even if it means that. If this is what you need me to do, then this is what I will do.”

“I don't deserve that.”

“You deserve the world, Johnny boy. And maybe between all of us, we'll make you realize that Bobby's going to give it to you.”

John shook his head. “I don't think he has much of a choice but to anymore.”

“He would have done it anyway,” Jubilee pointed out, seeing that it was only a few floors until the elevator began to slow and standing up. “Alright, get up. I'll go into the security office and get the code, and then I'll meet you in the garage.”

John nodded and stood up, pulling Jubilee into a hug. “I love you, Jubes. Thank you for all of this.”

“I love you too, Johnny,” Jubilee said. “Things are going to be okay, alright? I promise you that.”

John broke their embrace as the elevator slowed. “I know. And what you're doing for me today will help immensely with that. I know you've been trying to get me to do this for years, but it just wasn't financially feasible. But now that I have access to all this money, well, I'd be an asshole who loves to suffer if I didn't.”

“You're not an asshole, Johnny,” Jubilee said as the doors opened. “That would be your father.”

John sighed heavily as they walked out into the lobby. “You're probably right about that.”

“I know I am,” Jubilee said, heading towards the security office. “I'll meet you in the garage in a few minutes.”

“I'll be waiting next to Bobby's car.”

“Perfect.”


	14. Chapter 14

**December 30th**

John opened up the door to the apartment and walked in, Jubilee right behind him. It was the first time he'd set foot inside there since he'd made the decision to move into the penthouse, and as he looked around, he realized how much he was going to miss it. He'd lived there for six weeks and he'd already become attached to the place. 

“You okay, Johnny?” Jubilee asked, and John turned around to see her staring at him with concerned eyes. “Because if you don't want to be here, then we can leave pretty quickly.”

“I'm fine,” John murmured. “I was just thinking about how I'm going to miss this place.”

“You're going to miss the apartment or you're going to miss having an apartment of your own? Because those are two pretty different things.”

John contemplated that for a moment. “An apartment of my own,” he breathed out. “I'm afraid of how fast all of this is happening. I don't even have five minutes to catch my breath.”

Jubilee walked closer to him and wrapped him up in her arms. “I know, honey. But it is and there's nothing that can change it now.”

“I know,” John said, putting his head on her shoulder. “It just scares me.”

“I would think you were an idiot if it didn't. Even Bobby is scared about this.”

“Bobby is scared about his parents,” John corrected. “He doesn't give a fuck about the scandal that this is.”

“It's not a scandal, Johnny. Is the part of the population who are against same-sex soulbonds scandalized? Yes. The rest of the world? Not so much. They're more obsessed with details than anything else. They want to know anything they can about you and Bobby.”

John took a deep breath. “Well, whatever it is, Bobby's not scared about it. He's only scared of his parents.”

Jubilee shook her head when John pulled back. “That's bullshit and you know it.”

“No, I really don't,” John said, walking away from her and over to the table, dropping the mail onto it and running his hands over his face. “So, where should we start?”

“Bobby is just as scared as you are,” Jubilee started, amending that statement when John glared at her. “Okay, maybe not just as scared but he's definitely scared. There has been a lot of stuff written about the Drakes over the years, but hardly any of it has been directed towards Bobby. He gets caught up in the shit that is put out there about his parents and his brother, for sure. But he's not used to it being centered on him.”

“Maybe. But he's used to it. I am definitely not. And when all of the initial furor dies down, if it ever does, he's still going to be perfectly comfortable in the world that he inhabits. Me? Not so much.”

“He said a lot of stuff in that interview that wasn't just about you, you know,” Jubilee pointed out. “Revealing that he's a mutant was enough to fucking scare the shit out of him. Same-sex soulbonds are far more accepted than mutants are. And you know that.” 

John sighed heavily and walked towards the bedroom, Jubilee following behind him. “I'm being serious, Johnny. He's terrified.”

“One of the media coordinators Bobby has at work told him that we've apparently become the most popular mutant couple on the planet. He seemed happy about it and I don't even know what to make of that.”

Jubilee watched John sit down on the edge of the bed and followed suit. “Listen to me, okay? It may seem like Bobby is handling this really well and that's because outwardly he is. He can cope with all of this attention far better than you can. But that doesn't mean that he isn't scared too. Just ask him and he'll tell you.”

“So, he told you then?”

“No, he told Rogue and she told me,” Jubilee said, reaching out to tangle her fingers with John's. “I think that you keep telling yourself that nothing has changed for Bobby and that couldn't be further from the truth.”

John groaned and fell back onto the bed. “I know that things have changed for him, okay? But they haven't changed anywhere near as much as they have for me.”

“I'm not trying to say that they have,” Jubilee said, pausing. “Rogue said that some of the office quit after seeing that article. They didn't want to work for a mutant.”

John looked over at her. “What?”

“She also said that there are clients of theirs that suddenly want to review their options. That's because of the mutant thing too.”

John took a deep breath and stared up at his ceiling. “They're doing all of that because he's a mutant.”

“Yes,” Jubilee said, laying down next to him. “He's going to have to deal with some pretty big changes too. They may not seem like they're of the same magnitude, and I'm not trying to say that they are, but this interview is going to have a massive effect on his life too.”

“I don't understand why he did the interview,” John said quietly. “I know that everyone keeps telling me that it was because he loves me, and maybe it is. But he stands to lose a fuckload more than I'm worth.”

“You are worth the motherfucking galaxy, Johnny, so stop that right now.”

“I'm not worth giving up billions of dollars for,” John said, shaking his head. “Maybe I'll get to a place someday when I believe that he loves me, but there is no way that I'll ever believe that I'm worth that.”

Jubilee sighed heavily. “I would really like to kill your father for all of this. I really would.”

“I don't think that I'd think I was worth that even if he hadn't done this to me,” John admitted. “This just seems fucking insane to me.”

“Before he found out the truth about why you'd left, he used to tell me that he thought the fact that he was a Drake had finally scared you away,” Jubilee said after a moment. “The way that you'd have to live your life if you were his partner and his soulmate was something that he thought pushed you away. I tried so many times to tell him that it wasn't that, that it wasn't this rejection of the destiny that he wanted you to share, but I know that I never succeeded. And now that he has you again, he's so unbelievably happy to know that everything you two thought was true. You are each other's soulmate. He just wants to shout that from the rooftops so anyone and everyone could hear. And he did that when he did the interview.”

“He was forced into doing that interview by his mother.”

“Maybe, but he didn't give the interview they wanted him to give. He made sure it was okay with you, and then he took his chance. The interview was his way of letting everyone know that he's the lucky one who has you,” Jubilee said, nodding when John looked over at her. “He was so excited to have that chance that he didn't even stop and think about what it would do to your life. He didn't even stop to think that he might be doing the thing that would finally push you away.”

John gave her a quizzical look. “What?”

“Bobby is afraid that he's given you a reason to run again,” Jubilee murmured. “Rogue told me that he told her that. He's scared to death that he's going to lose you because he didn't think things through.”

“Fuck,” John said, running his hands over his face. “Now I have to somehow let him know that he hasn't and I don't have a fucking clue how to do that.”

“I think you saying that you're going to move in with him helped alleviate that a bit. But he's still scared to death that he's going to lose you.”

“He's not,” John said softly. “He's really not.”

“Then just tell him that. But you also need to tell him that you know that you're not the only scared one. Because if Bobby hasn't thought about the effect that this would have on you, then you haven't thought about the effect this would have on him either.” John laid there silently, and after a few minutes, Jubilee got up. “I'm going to go take a look around and see where I think we need to start, okay? And then I'll start figuring out how many boxes we're going to need. Bobby said that he'd provide whatever is necessary but I'd like to get an actual estimate on what is necessary.”

“Jubes,” John said before she could get to the doorway. “Does he think that or is it just you?”

“He's so concerned with what this has done to you that I don't think it's even crossed his mind, to be honest. But it's been very apparent to both me and Rogue over the last few days that you two didn't even have a fucking conversation about how this would affect either of you beyond Bobby's parents and his inheritance, and that's just fucking insane to me. Your entire lives have been affected by this and you didn't even fucking think about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, we're fucking morons,” John said, sitting up. “I know, I know.”

“Come on, let's get started on this,” Jubilee said. “I'll even promise that we don't have to talk about this anymore.”

John sighed and stood up. “I am going to hold you to that promise.”

“I am aware of that,” Jubilee said as she walked out of the bedroom. “But the last thing I will say about it is that you two need to have a fucking conversation about this shit before Rogue and I kill you.”

“We will,” John said, following her. “I promise.”

“Good,” Jubilee said seriously. “Now, let's get started. And I will tell you all about how my mother hates you now.”

“Why does she hate me now? Your mother has always loved me.”

“Yeah, well, you're the man that is making me throw away everything that she paid damn good money for me to have learned in college so I can follow you around like a puppy.”

John sighed heavily. “Fuck, that's not what I want to have you do.”

“I know, Johnny. And I'll make her see that eventually. But right now, you're persona non grata with her.”

“I don't want to buy anyone's affections, but maybe I should do something nice for her, spend some of Bobby's money on her,” John murmured as they walked into the kitchen. 

“I think that's a great idea, Johnny. Let's brainstorm while we assess the situation here.”

They bounced ideas off each other while they worked, Jubilee pulling out her phone and taking notes as she began to inventory everything that John had in the apartment. John helped her count glasses and plates and books and everything else that she asked him to do, his head spinning at the amount of work Jubilee was going to have to do.

He felt like absolute shit that she was going to do this for him when he should be doing it himself. He shouldn't have to be doing it at all, but they'd made a decision without thinking about it properly and this was his life now.

“I'm going to talk to Bobby when I get home,” John murmured, making Jubilee stop going through his closet. “Because you're right, we didn't think this through and I haven't even begun to think about how scared he might be because I was just concentrating on myself. I feel like a complete asshole for doing that to him.”

“Hey, don't think that, okay?” Jubilee said, walking over to him. “You're not an asshole. You've been scared out of your mind and haven't been thinking about anything but that. And that's okay. Bobby isn't going to be upset about the fact that you haven't had this conversation yet. He's been so focused on you that he probably doesn't even realize how scared he is.”

John sucked in a couple of deep breaths as Jubilee pulled him into her arms. “I want my life back, Jubes,” he whispered. “I want September back.”

“I know you think that, honey, but the reality is that you don't,” Jubilee said softly. “You don't want to give up Bobby for anything. And the moment you factor Bobby into this is the moment when you realize that September is gone. You've got to focus on December now. There's no going back.”

“I know,” John said, burying his face in her neck. “Doesn't mean I don't miss it.”

“You're allowed to miss it, sweetie. Just like how you're allowed to miss things about your life before you told your parents. I know you don't want to admit it, but your life at NYU was pretty great. You had great friends, you had an amazing boyfriend who you fit so perfectly with, and you were free from your parents. I don't think you've let yourself feel that way the last couple of years.”

“I couldn't let myself feel anything,” John murmured. “If I let myself feel anything then all I would have felt was pain from being away from him. From all of you.”

“Then it's a good thing that you're letting yourself feel things again. I know you've talked to Storm about this and I know that she's told you the same thing. You have to just let yourself feel, Johnny, no matter what the feeling is.” John shuddered against her and Jubilee hugged him tighter. “I know you're scared as fuck right now but this was always going to happen, even back then. If you hadn't run and you two had still been together and discovered that you were right about being soulmates, then this would have happened then. Bobby has always been serious about not hiding you when this time came.”

“I know he has,” John said, pulling back. “And I have never wanted him to hide me should this time come. I didn't want to be living in the shadows like I had to back then for the rest of my life. But that was when I was in college. This is very, very different.”

“It's the same,” Jubilee pointed out. “I don't know exactly how Bobby would have let the world know about you then, but this is what he chose now. This is what you have to deal with whether you want to or not. And we're all going to be around to support you in this journey.”

“I just embarrass the fuck out of him,” John said quietly. “I have nothing to talk to anyone about, I can't do this society shit without feeling completely inadequate and like I shouldn't be there, and I work in a fucking coffee shop when everyone he surrounds himself with has either all the money in the world or masters degrees from the best universities there are. Fuck, you have to have a goddamn masters degree to work in his office. It's absurd.”

“You do not embarrass him,” Jubilee said firmly. “You can learn things that you can talk to people about, you will get more used to the society stuff the more you do it, and if you think that you can't work at the coffee shop anymore, then don't. But don't quit doing that just because you think it embarrasses Bobby. Bobby knows how much that place means to you. He'd never make you stop working there because he's embarrassed by it. He fucking loves that place now.”

“I know he does,” John said, running his hands over his face. “I had the most insane thought the other day after the party.”

“What was it?”

“That I should take that laptop I bought with Bobby's money and come up with something, and then actually try to make my dream of being a writer come true. But then I realized how stupid that was.”

“I don't think that's stupid at all,” Jubilee said, smiling when John looked over at her. “I think that you might find yourself more comfortable with things if you were to have your own path. I know that you've got the coffee shop, but the coffee shop has never been your dream. That was never what you'd pictured yourself doing for the rest of your life.”

“I know it's not,” John said, sitting down on the bed. “But I don't even know if I can write anymore. I haven't written a goddamn thing since the day I left him except for that stupid letter I gave him for Christmas. I left my laptop behind and I'm sure he doesn't have it.”

“I'd almost guarantee that he does,” Jubilee said, sitting down next to him. “You still remember your password?”

“I had it set up with a pin and yeah, I do.”

“Then when we get back to the penthouse, we should go look through the boxes of your stuff and find it,” Jubilee said, reaching out to tangle their fingers together. “How far did you get on the novel?”

“Pretty far,” John said. “And I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about all the ways to change my ending over the last couple of years. I've thought about it a lot. Have notebooks full of ideas on how to change a lot of things.”

Jubilee squeezed his hand. “So the notebooks are here?”

“Yeah, they're in a box at the bottom of the closet.”

“Then let's take the box and go back to the penthouse,” Jubilee suggested. “I'll find the laptop because I'm pretty sure you aren't going to want to go through that stuff, and then we'll spend the afternoon working on your novel like we used to. You writing and me offering up opinions whenever you want one.”

John sat there for a few moments before nodding. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” John said, standing up and walking towards the closet, digging around through the clothes until he found the box.

Jubilee was standing up when he pulled the box out of the closet, and then they got ready to leave, John picking up the box and carrying it out to her car. By the time they were inside and Jubilee was getting it to heat up, John's hands were shaking. “What am I supposed to do with this novel if I finish it?”

“How about we deal with that once it is?” Jubilee suggested, looking over at him. “There doesn't need to be any pressure of any kind on you with this. If you write it and finish it and don't let anyone read it, that's fine. If you decide you want to try to get it published, that's fine too. Just don't even think about it right now. Just finish it. It'll probably make you feel really good to just accomplish that.”

“Okay,” John said, nodding. “No pressure.”

“No pressure,” Jubilee confirmed, buckling her seatbelt. “Now let's head back to the penthouse.”

“Did I totally hijack your inventorying of my apartment?” John suddenly asked. “Because we can go back in there and finish.”

“No, Johnny, we're fine,” Jubilee said. “I've got more than enough that I can work with to start, and if I need more boxes as I go along, then I'll just tell Bobby I need more. It's all good.”

John nodded and buckled his seatbelt, and then Jubilee merged out into traffic. “Jubes?” he said after a minute. “Thank you for all of this.”

“I said I'd do whatever I had to do to help you, Johnny, and I meant that. I really don't mind packing up your apartment for you.”

“That's not what I meant,” John said, shaking his head. “Well, no, thank you for that too, but what I meant is the writing stuff. I really thought it was insane.”

“Nothing is insane, honey,” Jubilee said, smiling at him. “Especially your dreams. I think Bobby will be happy to hear about this.”

“Bobby is having lunch with his brother today,” John said, taking a deep breath. “I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow.”

“And since you've talked to Ronny on the phone a lot, I think that meeting will go just fine,” Jubilee said seriously. “I'll be right by your side if you want me to be.”

“What?”

“We always spend New Year's Eve at Bobby's,” Jubilee said. “I don't know if Piotr's going to be there after all that bullshit, but the rest of us will be.”

John sucked in a deep breath. “I don't think I can handle more society shit right now.”

“You won't, honey. This is just us,” Jubilee explained. “We just put the Times Square celebrations on that gigantic television of his, drink a whole lot of champagne, dance the night away to whatever music we feel like putting on, and then crash in the extra bedrooms. It's a bunch of fun.”

John felt the tension in his chest subside. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

“It'll be a blast, Johnny boy. And you'll have someone to kiss at midnight like I will.”

John turned to look at her. “Like you will?”

“I'm going to bring Theresa,” Jubilee said, unable to keep the grin off her face. “She's amazing, Johnny. She really is.”

“Then I can't wait to meet her,” John said, settling back against the seat. “Tell me how things are going with her, okay? I don't want to talk about any of this stuff anymore.”

“Then that's what we'll do.”


	15. Chapter 15

**December 31st**

John walked into Bobby's office, waiting patiently until Bobby had hung up the phone. “Baby?”

“Ronny will be here in about fifteen minutes,” Bobby said, turning around. “He's very excited to meet you.”

John swallowed hard at the thought. “That's great, but that's not what I wanted to talk about.”

“I promise you the party will be fine,” Bobby said, walking out of the office. “The only person you won't know is Theresa. I don't count Ronny in that because you've talked on the phone so much.”

John followed him. “That's not what I want to talk to you about either.”

“Then what is it?” Bobby asked, walking into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. “I hope we have enough champagne.”

“There are twenty bottles in there and another fifty in that room you keep all your wine and stuff in,” John said. “I can't imagine that we'll go through that much champagne.”

“Hm, we might. You've never been to one of these parties before. I should have Rogue get some more on her way here.”

John watched as Bobby started typing out a message on his phone before deciding to just ask. “Are you scared?”

“Scared of what?” Bobby asked, looking up at him. “I told you, the party will be fine.”

“I'm not talking about the party. I'm talking about what is going on with us. Are you scared?”

“There is nothing to scare me about how much I love and need you,” Bobby said, looking down at his phone again. “I don't know if it scares you, and it's fine if it does, but it doesn't scare me.”

“I'm not talking about that either. I'm talking about the aftermath of the interview. Are you scared?”

Bobby set his phone down and looked at him again. “I'm terrified of what my parents are going to do. And you know that.”

“I mean besides your parents. Are you scared about any of the rest of it?” John asked. “Because I think you should be if you aren't.”

Bobby walked over to John and pulled him into his arms. “I don't regret that interview. I regret not preparing you for the aftermath, but I don't regret it.”

“That is not what I asked you,” John said, forcing his way out of Bobby's embrace. “I asked if you are scared.”

Bobby sighed. “Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I'm scared out of my mind,” Bobby said softly. “Half the office quit because they don't want to work for a mutant. The photographers seem to be everywhere that I go when I leave here. And some other things are scaring me too.”

“What other things?”

Bobby paused. “I don't know if I should tell you that.”

“Fucking tell me.”

“Johnny, I don't know about that.”

“If you want me to stay, then you're fucking telling me,” John said seriously. “You're the one who said you'd never lie to me. What other things?”

“I haven't lied to you about this. I just haven't told you.”

“I am fucking serious about leaving.”

Bobby took a few moments before speaking again. “There have been a lot of emails coming into the company through the contact form about the interview and the two of us. The customer service department has been just forwarding them to my office and Yuriko has been going through them. Most of them are positive and supportive but there have been a few that haven't been.”

John stared at him. “You didn't want to tell me about a few negative emails?”

“I'd tell you about negative emails,” Bobby said seriously. “I did not want to tell you about the death threats.”

John felt himself go pale. “Death threats?”

Bobby walked over to him and took John in his arms again. “It's okay, Johnny. I promise.”

“There are people that want to kill you because of this?” John got out after a few moments, settling his head on Bobby's shoulder.

“They aren't threats against me,” Bobby said carefully. “They are threats against you.”

John started shaking and Bobby tightened his embrace. “It's okay, Johnny. No one is going to hurt you.”

“But someone wants me dead because I love you,” John eventually said. “Why?”

“There are crazy people out there and sometimes they threaten people when they don't like something that person has said or done. But I've got the police involved. The person who is sending these threats has been stupid enough to include their real email address on them, according to the police. They are working on it and then they will arrest them. That will be soon and then everything will be okay again.”

“This is why you wanted me to live in such a secure building, isn't it?” John asked after a moment. “You knew this could happen.”

“Yes, I did and I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be terrified and paranoid,” Bobby murmured. “I didn't want you to be constantly worried that every person you came into contact with was someone who was going to hurt you. There was just as much of a chance that this would happen as there was that it wouldn't and it just so happens that it did.”

John buried his face in Bobby's neck and Bobby held him closer. “It's going to be okay, Johnny. I promise.”

They stood there silently until Bobby heard the sounds of the elevator arriving. “Ronny's here.”

John didn't move, so that was how Ronny found them a few moments later when he stepped out of the elevator. Ronny frowned when they didn't break the embrace and he saw John shudder. “Bobby, is everything alright?”

“It's fine,” Bobby said, looking over at his brother. “I just told him about the death threats.”

“They got that lousy motherfucker yet?” Ronny asked as he walked towards them.

“Not yet, but they said that they're close,” Bobby said, pressing a kiss to John's temple. “Johnny, let me introduce you to Ronny, okay?”

John sucked in a couple of deep breaths before pulling back, the man that he'd heard about so much over the years coming into view. “Sorry, I just...”

“Hey, don't apologize for that,” Ronny said seriously. “I reacted about the same way when I first had threats against me. Clung to my mother for hours.”

John nodded and Bobby smiled at him. “Johnny, this is my brother Ronny. Ronny, this is my amazing soulmate John.”

“It's nice to finally meet you,” Ronny said, holding out his hand. “I could tell just from talking to you that I've gotten a great brother-in-law out of this.”

John shook his hand. “Thank you. It will be nice to have a brother, or well, a sibling at all. I've never had that before.”

“Only child?”

“Yes.”

“Then I will be the best brother in the history of the world for you,” Ronny said, smiling at him. “And I'm sorry that you're having to go through all of this. The first time you're the subject of a media blitz is the worst. Next time will be better because you'll know what to expect.”

“Next time?” John asked, looking over at Bobby.

“There will inevitably be a next time, Johnny. It might not happen until we're bonded, but it will happen.”

John took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. “I need a drink.”

“Whiskey or champagne?” Bobby asked, heading to the kitchen. 

“Should I mix them today?” John asked. “Because I don't want to spend New Year's sick.”

“I don't know if you should mix them. Champagne then,” Bobby said, opening up the refrigerator. “Ronny, you want some?”

“Sure,” Ronny said, walking towards the kitchen with John. “How about we talk about a happier subject? I think lightening the mood is a good idea.”

“I think that's a great idea,” Bobby said, setting a bottle on the counter and reaching for some glasses. “What should we talk about?”

“Childhood stories,” John said before anyone could say anything else. “I want some childhood stories.”

Bobby smiled when he turned back around, but Ronny just laughed. “You want to know embarrassing stuff about Bobby? Because I've got a fuckload of those stories.”

Bobby groaned but John grinned. “Then please, tell away.”

They spent the next couple of hours telling stories, Bobby always trying to correct Ronny's implications and John laughing hysterically at some of the stuff Bobby had to deal with as a kid, until the sounds of the elevator arriving hit them again. Bobby walked over to it and smiled when Rogue came into view, a gigantic box sitting on the elevator floor next to her. “How on earth did you carry that?”

“I had the guy from the liquor store carry it out to the car, and then I had one of the security guys put it in the elevator,” Rogue said. “You're going to have to take it from here.”

Bobby nodded and grabbed the box, picking it up with a groan. “Be glad you didn't pick it up. Fuck, this is heavy.”

“Yeah, well, it's got the champagne you asked for in it,” Rogue said, shaking her head as Bobby stumbled towards the kitchen with it. “I thought that we'd already gotten enough champagne for the party.”

“He was concerned that seventy bottles weren't enough,” John said, walking over to her and pulling her into a hug. “You know how he gets.”

“Seventy bottles?” Ronny said. “You thought seventy bottles of champagne wasn't going to be enough? How many people are going to be at this party?”

“Seven,” Bobby said, setting the box on the counter.

“Eight,” Rogue corrected, making Bobby frown. 

“Who is the eighth?”

“Piotr has informed Jubilee that he will be bringing his soulmate,” Rogue said. “I can't wait to meet her.”

“You have,” John said, sighing. “His soulmate is Kitty.”

Rogue's eyes widened. “What?”

“I don't even know, so don't ask me,” John murmured, walking back to where his glass was and downing it. “Fuck, I hate this.”

“Piotr will treat her right, Johnny, and I know deep down you know that,” Bobby said, starting to unpack the box. “Just be happy for her.”

“It's not that I'm not happy for her,” John said, shaking his head. “I'm thrilled for her. I'm just worried about how Piotr's opinion of me will start to affect her opinion of me.”

“You know Piotr's soulmate?” Ronny interjected. “Illyana told me that he hasn't introduced her to anyone yet.”

Bobby looked over at him. “What are you doing talking to Illyana? How do you even know Illyana?”

“She was working out in Los Angeles too,” Ronny said. “She got assigned to the same project I did and she mentioned that her older brother was one of your best friends and it sort of carried on from there.”

Bobby's gaze narrowed. “Carried on to what effect?”

“We're just friends, Bobby. Relax.”

“Good, because Piotr would have killed you otherwise,” Bobby said as he went back to unpacking the box. “Anyway, yes, we know Piotr's soulmate. She works with John.”

“For the moment anyway,” John said. “She's almost done with her course and then she's got a job waiting for her as a therapist.”

“So Storm's really givin' her the job, hm?” Rogue said, walking up to the refrigerator and opening it. “Good lord, how much of this have you already drunk? I had this stocked yesterday.”

“Yeah, Storm is. And I think we just finished up our fourth bottle,” John said. “Also, I need more.”

“You can fuckin' wait,” Rogue said before Bobby could say a thing. “You're not gonna be fuckin' drunk before this party has even begun.”

“I need to be drunk as soon as possible,” John said, covering his face with his hands. “Someone wants to kill me.”

Rogue looked over at Bobby. “You told me you weren't gonna tell him.”

“Yeah, well, it came up and then he said he was going to leave if I didn't tell him what I meant by something, and I had no choice but to. I'm not going to lie to him.”

Rogue sighed heavily and grabbed a bottle before closing the refrigerator door. “Here. Open it up.”

Bobby took the cold bottle from her and got it open, quickly refilling John's glass. “I think that you need to drink this slowly, okay? I know you need to be drunk but you also said you don't want to spend New Year's sick.”

“I will,” John said, snatching the bottle out of Bobby's hands before Bobby could pull it away. “And I can pour my fucking drinks while you get ready for the party.”

Bobby stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Fine. I'll trust you on that.”

“At least you trust me on that,” John said, jumping off the stool he was sitting on and grabbing both his glass and the bottle. “Excuse me.”

Bobby sighed heavily as John walked towards the bedroom. “Johnny, come back here.”

John didn't say anything so Rogue put a gloved hand on Bobby's arm. “Go talk to him, darlin'. I'll enlist Ronny's help and get everythin' ready.”

“I'll be glad to help,” Ronny said, so Bobby nodded.

“Thanks, guys.”

Bobby headed in the direction of the bedroom, leaning up against the doorframe when he got there. John had abandoned his glass and was drinking straight from the bottle, and Bobby sighed. “Johnny. Stop.”

“Fuck off.”

Bobby walked into the room and sat down next to him on the bed. “I didn't tell you out of a place of love.”

“That's fucking bullshit.”

“I'm being serious,” Bobby said firmly. “I knew what this would do to you and you are having a hard enough time with all of this as it is. I didn't think you needed more heaped on top of that when it was a situation that would be resolved by the police quickly enough.”

John sat there for a moment before sighing. “All I can think about is how much danger I'm in now. How much danger I've been in. How much danger Jubes has been in since she's been with me every time that I have left here. Fuck, I could have gotten her killed too.”

Bobby reached out and took the bottle out of John's hand, setting it on the floor before pulling him close. “Listen to me, okay? You have not been in danger. You have not put Jubes in danger. These are empty threats from someone who was convinced that they were my soulmate.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because that's what the police have told me,” Bobby said, leaning in to kiss John softly. “And I trust the police when it comes to this stuff. This is not the first time this has happened to me.”

John immediately became worried. “What?”

“It happened when all of that bullshit about Ronny's college girlfriend hit the papers and I was made out to be disapproving,” Bobby said. “It turned out that the threats were coming from her brother. Ronny was furious and the relationship didn't last that long after that because he couldn't trust her anymore.”

“You don't trust me,” John said plainly.

“I trust you more than anyone,” Bobby said strongly. “There has never been a moment in our lives where I trusted you more than I do right now.”

“You shouldn't,” John whispered. “I ran last time and you shouldn't trust that I'm not going to run this time.”

“I'd understand if you run this time. I've ruined your life, Johnny. I ruined your life without even thinking about the fact that what I was doing was going to ruin it. I deserve you running away screaming for that.”

“No, baby, no you don't,” John murmured, kissing him again. “I'm not going anywhere. I'd never do that to you again.”

“I know,” Bobby said, smiling at him. “And I trust in that. Piotr might not, but I do.”

“Is Piotr ever going to like me again?” John asked quietly. “Because we used to get along so well and I...now that he's got Kitty and...”

“I think Kitty will help him learn to trust you again,” Bobby said. “She trusts you beyond belief and she will make him see that he needs to too. And Piotr still likes you, Johnny. He's just angry about something that he needs to get the fuck over already.”

“What if he doesn't?”

“Then he's not going to be a part of our lives, whether he's Kitty's soulmate or not.”

John swallowed hard. “I need Kitty, baby. I need her so much.”

“And she will be here for you because Piotr's going to get over this,” Bobby said seriously. “And if he doesn't, she will still be here for you anyway. I'd never try to make you cut Kitty out of your life because Piotr is being a dick.”

John leaned forward and put his head on Bobby's shoulder. “Next time something like this is going on, tell me. Me being blissfully ignorant isn't going to keep me vigilant of a threat while I'm out in public. I need to know that I should be looking for something when I'm out there.”

“Johnny, I don't know if that's really necessary.”

“It's incredibly necessary,” John said. “And I'm going to have Erik teach me what to look for.”

“Erik?”

“He was a cop before he decided to quit and open up the shop with Charles.”

“I did not know that.”

“Ask him about it next time you see him then. He'll probably have a bunch of questions about this threat after I tell him about it.”

“Tell him that he can call me if I don't get over there fast enough for him to get the answers because I'm sure that he'll want them immediately. He's very protective of you. They all are.”

John turned and pressed a kiss to Bobby's neck. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Johnny. And someday you're going to believe that.”

“I'm starting to,” John said softly. “I can't think of any other reason that you've done what you've done otherwise.”

Bobby grinned. “That is so wonderful to hear. I know you've been saying that a lot since Christmas, but it's still so wonderful to hear.”

“It's wonderful to think too,” John said, kissing Bobby's neck again. “Tonight's really nothing more than a bunch of friends having fun?”

“Friends having fun, getting drunk, and for some, getting a kiss at midnight. I can't wait to finally get one. I've never had one before.”

John smiled. “Neither have I. I forgot that we've never spent New Year's Eve together before.”

“Well, there's never going to be a New Year's Eve that we don't spend together ever again,” Bobby said, pressing a kiss to John's forehead. “Want to go start the new year right or do you want to just sit in here and drink? Whatever you want to do is fine.”

John sat up and reached for the bottle, taking a long drink from it. “Start the new year right.”

Bobby reached for his hand. “Then let's go back out there. Jubes and Theresa will be here soon and Piotr and Kitty won't be that far behind them, I think.”

“I really am glad that Kitty is going to be so happy,” John murmured as they stood up. “I just really wish it was with someone other than him at this moment. I will kill him if he hurts her.”

“I know, but let's not think about that possibility, okay? Let's just let her enjoy the fact that she's found her soulmate. I can tell from talking to him that Piotr already adores her.”

“He should. Kitty's great,” John said, taking another long drink. “I don't know where I put my glass.”

“We'll find it tomorrow,” Bobby said, pulling him towards the door. “We can just get you another one.”

John nodded. “Bobby?”

“What?”

“I forgive you for not telling me about the threats. You're right, I wouldn't have reacted well to them. I haven't reacted well to them.”

“Just put it out of your mind for the rest of the night, okay? Nothing's going to happen to you here.”

John nodded as Bobby stopped them. “I'll try.”

Bobby pulled him into a deep kiss. “Don't worry. You'll be drunk enough to forget about it soon.”

“God, I hope so,” John said before kissing Bobby again. “Because I really want to forget about this and enjoy tonight.”

Bobby laughed. “I don't think there's any way not to enjoy tonight. I'm so happy that you'll get to experience it with us. It's always felt wrong to do this without you here.”

“Well, I am here now and I always will be,” John said. “I promise.”

Bobby grinned. “Then let's go celebrate that.”

“I can do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we fell in love in january coming soon.


End file.
